Our Adoption Journey...to Nowhere

Daily Sound — Johnigan gets 15 years to life for killing DA investigator

2009-11-20T12:08:00.000-05:00

Daily Sound — Johnigan gets 15 years to life for killing DA investigator

The Santa Barbara Independent Mozes’s Money Headed to Victims

2009-11-02T08:19:00.000-05:00

The Santa Barbara Independent Mozes’s Money Headed to Victims

Queen of Greed, Christen Brown, Shot Down By Judge Eskin

2009-10-28T14:35:00.005-04:00

Although the wait has felt interminable, it was almost worth it to read Judge Eskin's decision regarding Plaintiff Christen Brown's attempt to get the money reserved for victims of Orson Mozes' adoption scams. Judge Eskin ruled that Brown

1. does not have a legitimately acquired interest in the confiscated assets;

2. is NOT AN INNOCENT SPOUSE/PERSON; and

3. the claim for child support by Brown does not have priority over the (monetary) restitution owed to the victims of the defendant's crimes.

AMEN! I took great pleasure in Judge Eskin's keen observations regarding Brown's involvement in Adoption International Program and his verbal lashing that she placed her own desires before her child's (Zoe) interests!

Here are a few of my favorite comments by Judge Eskin:

"The evidence is overwhelming that the source of the seized assets was the defendant's (Orson) operation of a fraudulent business between the years 2003 and 2007, while he lived Claimant (Christen), and she (and their children) enjoyed the benefit of his earning which were derived from the crimes..."
"Claimant failed to establish by a preponderance of the evidence that she was an 'innocent.' This court cannot determine the extent of her criminal culpability, but the evidence does support this Court's conclusion that she was (probably) complicit in the criminal activities."
"...she undoubtedly had knowledge of the crimes despite her protestations to the contrary and was probably complicit in the criminal activities."
"The testimony of Claimant was extremely damaging to her position. The factors used to assess credibility of witnesses lead this Court to conclude that her testimony was inherently unbelievable. Although she earned a master's degree in counseling psychology from Boston University, published a book and coached clients for speech and media presentations, at times, she presented herself as clueless about the operations of AIP between 2004 and 2007..."
"Her explanation for the mid-hearing visit to Kathleen Lynch defied credulity, and her attempt to explain her involvement in the e-mail exchange with AIP client Vanessa Donaher in November 2005, when she agreed to refund her money while denying she had any knowledge of complaints by AIP clients borders on ludicrous."
"It is this Court's opinion that this clever language constitutes a fraud perpetrated on the Court in the dissolution proceedings..." [Note: This was in reference to specifics in their divorce] The judge also makes a statement that Christen basically put herself before her daughter and should have used proceeds from the sale of the house to support their daughter.

In my opinion, this is all confirmation of what the victims have felt in their hearts all along: Christen is a greedy piranha and only cares about $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ~ she knew exactly what was going on and could care less about APs or orphans. All she ever cared about was maintaining her luxurious lifestyle...even to the point where she placed maintenance of that lifestyle above the needs of her own child!

Daily Sound: Adoption scammer hears from his victims

2009-07-24T08:02:00.002-04:00

Daily Sound: Adoption scammer hears from his victims

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A New Blog...

2009-07-20T20:34:00.003-04:00

I have a new blog for this new chapter in our lives with our beautiful daughter Isabella! Click on this title and it will take you there: Blossoms and Blessings

Christen Brown is a GREEDY PIRANHA

2009-07-15T08:59:00.003-04:00

Christen Brown, Orson Mozes' ex-wife and the co-owner and Executive Director of the adoption agency (Adoption International Program) that bilked nearly a hundred PAPs out of their life savings and the children proved once again, in my opinion, that she is a GREEDY PIRANHA! The Santa Barbara District Attorney's office found and froze assets that Mozes was attempting to hide totaling approximately $300k. Mozes is being ordered to pay restitution to his victims; unfortunately, that amount exceeds $700,000.00 so these victims will sadly only get a small percentage of their loss.

Mozes was scheduled to be sentenced yesterday. However, it was postponed. WHY? Because the GREEDY PIRANHA, Christen Brown, filed a motion claiming that SHE should get 100% of the money that they recovered from her ex-husband for child and spousal support. This woman does not care AT ALL about the pain and suffering that HER company inflicted on these victims. She is so greedy and selfish that she does not want a single penny to get away.

This is a woman who is now living in yet another multi-million dollar home (currently for sale for $2,395,000.00): http://www.michaelcalcagno.com/properties/2078LasCanoas/index.html

Oh yes! This poor woman is really suffering without her husband! In my opinion, I am sure that plenty of the victims' life savings paves her sidewalks.

The sentencing will now take place on Thursday, July 23rd. Deputy DA Paula Waldman will read all of the victim impact statements, and present her recommendation to the judge as to what should happen with the monies recovered from Mozes. She does not support Christen's opinion that she should get the money. For now, we will have to wait and see. If her claim is denied we are sure she will file an appeal because Ms. Greedy Piranha won't stop until she is sure she has kicked every one of the victims while they are down.

Local Santa Barbara Story on Mozes' Plea

2009-07-08T10:39:00.002-04:00

Adoption scammer pleads guiltyBy COLBY FRAZIER — July 3, 2009

A former Montecito businessman who swindled $800,000 from 59 hopeful parents through his adoption business, pleaded guilty in Superior Court yesterday to 17 felonies and a white-collar crime enhancement.

Wearing a light-blue shirt, dark pants and a tie, with shackles around his hands and feet, the defendant, Orson Mozes, said plainly that he was guilty, and acknowledged he felt “very comfortable” with the plea bargain he had negotiated with prosecutors.

Although the man won’t be sentenced until July 14, Senior Deputy District Attorney Paula Waldman said he most likely would be sentenced to three years and four months in state prison, with three years of parole. Mozes, 57, also faces a civil lawsuit in the state of Pennsylvania that was jointly filed by 17 of the adoption scam victims. Additionally, Mozes conceded to forfeit $300,000 in cash and gold coins that were seized from his Florida home. The funds will be used to repay the victims, some of whom, Waldman said, are owed amounts as high as $75,000.

The prosecutor said the plea represents justice for dozens of families who, in some cases, not only were stolen from but also felt as though their own child was taken away.

“There’s just so much heartbreak around this case …” she said. “I enjoyed hearing him say that word, ‘guilty.’”

Through his business, Adoption International Program, Waldman said Mozes would place Eastern European children up for adoption. When prospective parents would see the children’s pictures on the company’s Web site and inquire, she said Mozes would ask for money, a deposit of sorts to ensure the children weren’t offered to other parents.

But it didn’t end there. She said Mozes would string the hopeful parents along. In many cases, victims would travel to various countries to meet their child, only to discover that someone else had adopted the child.

Even so, Mozes would apparently explain his way out of these situations, saying that other children were available and could be adopted. In at least one case, Waldman said a couple traveled abroad three separate times only to be told on each occasion that the child they had come to love already had a home.

“He’s very smooth and makes for a very good con artist,” Waldman said. “I’m not sure how much remorse that he feels.”

Although Mozes had been in the adoption business since the 80s, Waldman said the 59 felony counts of obtaining services by false pretences occurred between 2004 and 2008.Those 59 felony counts all represent people who were duped out of money and never received the child they were promised. However, Waldman said 16 of the couples successfully adopted a child through Mozes, though in most cases it was never the original child they had settled on.

During the investigation, Norma Hansen, a District Attorney investigator, said Mozes, after hearing authorities knew about his string of fraud, pointed out he had also overseen legitimate adoptions.

After divorcing his wife in 2007, Mozes, either to get away from his former wife or realizing authorities were closing in, fled to Miami, Fla.

While there, Mozes moved in with a woman who he said yesterday he plans to marry while in prison. Waldman said the woman allowed Mozes to move in and she even opened his bank accounts under her name.

According to court documents, Mozes was using the aliases Jack Rose and Jerry Brosse.

Had it not been for three arrests, one for driving without a license and two for shoplifting — Hansen said he got caught stealing candy and produce from a convenience store — it’s unclear when or if Mozes would have been caught. And even with these arrests, Miami authorities didn’t realize anything was amiss until after Mozes had been released on bail for the third time. But shortly after the third arrest, Waldman said police there realized Mozes was wanted in Santa Barbara and had been featured on the TV program America’s Most Wanted. He was arrested a short time later at his girlfriend’s apartment.

Authorities seized $300,000, a hefty chunk of which was in gold coins, court documents show. Waldman said a trunk of cash was also taken.

Waldman said the only hurdle to giving this money back to the people it was stolen from is Mozes’ ex-wife, who could claim some of the money belongs to her. Waldman, however, doubts any claim by the ex-wife would hold up.But even if the entirety of the $300,000 goes to the victims, it’s still far less than Mozes took. Waldman said it’s unclear where the remainder of the funds will come from, though more civil suits could be filed.

As part of the plea agreement, Waldman said the 42 remaining felony counts levied against Mozes would be dismissed. The special allegation he pleaded guilty to was a white-collar crime enhancement, which comes into play when a person steals more than $500,000.

Aside from the good news the plea brought victims (Waldman said she’d heard from many who felt closure and were satisfied with the terms), she said the case is sentimental for many in District Attorney’s Office.

When the office first got the case, the late DA investigator Laura Cleaves was the lead investigator. Cleaves was killed by a drunken driver in May of 2008 while driving home to the Santa Ynez Valley after a late night at work. Cleaves’s vehicle was struck by a black Mercedes near the Highway 154, Santa Ynez River over crossing.

Waldman, choking back tears, said Cleaves was working late that night on the Mozes case.“I believe that Laura is smiling right now,” she said. “The day she was killed she was working hard on this case.”

JUSTICE! Orson pleads GUILTY

2009-07-02T19:31:00.002-04:00

The following e-mail came from the Santa Barbara DA today:

Today around 2:30pm, Orson Mozes plead "guilty" to 17 counts of violating Penal Code section 532(a), felony obtaining money by false pretenses. He also admitted the truth of the special allegation charged under Penal Code section 186.11(a)(2), aggravated white collar crime taking over $500,000.

On July 14, 2009 at 1:30pm in department #12, he will be sentenced to 3 years and 4 months in State Prison .

I don't want to post personal details of the restitution because that is the victims' personal information, but I will say that as far as we are concerned, Orson must pay us back for our loss and the court has the assets available to distribute the restitution to his victims. This was a great relief since it was unknown if any monies would be available for restitution.

I feel SO INCREDIBLY grateful to Laura Cleaves, Norma Hansen, and Paula Waldman for taking the pain and suffering of all of Orson's victims seriously and for seeking justice. This is a true victory. Nothing will EVER take away the pain and heartache we endured and we will NEVER stop loving and missing our boys.

Orson Extradited to California

2009-03-06T20:56:00.001-05:00

In Case You Missed It...

2009-02-01T17:16:00.002-05:00

If you missed the show you can watch it on demand. Go to the America's Most Wanted website and there is a button that says "Watch Full Episodes". This was Episode 2219, Season 22: Ep 19. We are thankful to America's Most Wanted for a great job on this segment and all their hard work!

AMW Reminder

2009-01-28T17:32:00.002-05:00

The segment on Orson Mozes will air this Saturday, January 31st on FOX at 9/8C.

America's Most Wanted Update

2009-01-02T22:49:00.004-05:00

Due to the recent capture and arrest of Orson Mozes, the segment on America's Most Wanted will now air on January 31, 2009 at 9/8 C on FOX.

A TRULY Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-29T18:53:00.004-05:00

Orson was arrested today in Miami, Florida and is sitting in jail as I type this! This is a VERY, blessed and Happy New Year's present to all of his victims! Gosh, he looks pathetic!

Video on Orson Mozes

2008-12-27T13:14:00.000-05:00

Orson Mozes Arrested - and RELEASED - TWICE!!!

2008-12-26T10:22:00.002-05:00

Click on the title of this post to see the video and article.

On Fox's "America's Most Wanted," John Walsh tracks fugitives. But not everyone is brought to justice, like Orson Mozes. He's wanted in Santa Barbara County, California for running an adoption scam and stealing at least a million dollars from dozens of innocent people.

"I don't think any words could give it justice," says Dawn DeLorenzo of New Jersey. She says she's one of Mozes' victims. "We first came into contact with Orson Mozes when we decided in April of 2006, after a few unsuccessful fertility treatments, to look into adoption," explains DeLorenzo. Dawn and her husband say they gave Mozes' agency over $26,000 in fees to adopt three orphans overseas in Kazakhstan. The couple went abroad and spent thousands more, but never got their money's worth. The adoptions fell through and so did their dreams. "You start imagining your future together with that child," laments DeLorenzo.

So where is Orson Mozes? "He's most likely somewhere in Florida," says Criminal Investigator Norma Hansen of the Santa Barbara County District Attorney's Office. More Specifically, he could be somewhere in South Florida or Southwest Florida. "Up until a couple of days ago we weren't even really sure if he was alive or still in the country," explains Hansen. Using the alias "Jack Rose," Hansen discovered Mozes was arrested in Collier County in November for having a fake driver's license and fake social security number. Despite his felony warrant in Santa Barbara County, he was able to bond out and walk the streets. Hansen says she doesn't know how he was able to slip through the fingers of law enforcement. "Not being law enforcement in Florida, I don't know what the procedure is before someone's released- if they check their fingerprints."
Investigator Hansen also found out Mozes was arrested just last Sunday in Miami for petty theft. Just like Collier County he was able to bond out of jail. Hansen says, "It's very frustrating for me, but more so for all the victims."

As for Dawn DeLorenzo, she has mixed feelings. She explains, "We're very happy to know that he's still in the country. (But) disappointed that for some reason he was allowed to go. I don't know what happened there- who dropped the ball, but I'm sure that they're going to get him."

If you see Orson Mozes or know his whereabouts, the Santa Barbara County District Attorney's Office wants you to call police immediately. He is not considered armed or dangerous. He is considered a flight risk.

Posted By: Rosemary Connors
rconnors@fox4now.com

America's Most Wanted Airing Saturday 1/3/2009

2008-12-08T15:59:00.003-05:00

So, the America's Most Wanted piece about Orson will air on Saturday, January 3rd at 9/8 C on FOX. You have to check your local listings to see what channel it shows on in your area. God willing, someone will know where the scumbag is and call in.

The End of the Adoption Journey to Nowhere

2008-09-21T17:02:00.002-04:00

This will be my final post on this blog. We are moving toward a new chapter in our lives and think it only fitting to write the last page of this story. Not a single day goes by that we don't think about Alex, Stas, or Stephen (and his baby brother whom we never met, but prayed for just as much) and our pregnancy certainly hasn't changed that. I dream of the boys at night and think of them throughout the day. They will always be a part of our lives. God knows we did everything humanly possible to make it have a happy ending, but were met with constant road blocks, closed doors, and unwilling or unmotivated "powers that be". I don't know if it is best for the boys to never know about what transpired or if someday it is best for them to know that somebody desperately wanted them. Only time will bring that answer.

We have learned a lot during this journey. Some of the lessons were positive: our marriage survived and thrived through both public and private pain. Some were negative: We learned that some "friends" are not as true as they seem. Some were just "life lessons" that can't really be neatly placed in one category. One of these is the fact that no matter what issue it is: adoption, abortion, racism, gay marriage, animal rights - you name it - there are extreme viewpoints on both sides and most people are so firmly entrenched in defending "their" viewpoint that arguing is futile. It is no wonder that our world is in such trouble - these issues are merely microcosms of our universal issues.

I certainly can't end this blog by telling you that I am glad it all happened and would do it over if I had to. I wouldn't. I am not glad it happened. I don't feel better off having uncovered the evils that I have. I will simply say that it was what is was; it happened; it hurt like hell, and now we are moving toward a new chapter in our lives.

Thank you so much to the many "virtual friends" who have followed our journey, prayed for us and the boys, and supported us in some of our darkest times. I hope you will join us on our new blog: www.bloomingbelly.blogspot.com.

NEWS...

2008-09-13T13:56:00.004-04:00

We did not plan on making this announcement so early, but word got out at my job and all of our friends and family know and quite frankly I am about to bust: We are pregnant :) We are seven weeks and due on May 3, 2009. The IVF worked, thank God, on the first try. I say thank God for two reasons: First, because it truly is thanks to God for this blessing, and second because as anyone who has been through IVF knows - it is not fun!

We had 19 eggs retrieved. Out of those...eleven actually fertilized. Five of them made it to Day 5 post-fertilization, 2 were transferred and 3 are now frozen. One miracle implanted! We heard the baby's heartbeat on Wednesday and it was surreal!

So far I feel good. No morning sickness...only some nausea if I wait too long to eat. I MUST have something every two hours or I feel crappy so I keep a lot of fresh fruit, fruit cups, crackers, etc. with me. My earliest symptoms were just heaviness in my breasts, itchy nipples (I thought that one was weird, but someone else said she had that one too!) and a strong urine smell. After the embryos were transferred I had two nights of MAJOR night sweats, but have not had them since. I had some pretty bad headaches that first week as well, but that could simply be due to the Progesterone injections (which we stop in two weeks ~ finally!)

Regarding Stephen and his brother (and the Kazak Embassy): If you adopted from Kaz and you only want to hear nice things about the country, please stop reading at this point. Joe and I feel nothing but disgust for all of the people in Kazakhstan that we dealt with throughout our adoption (with the caregivers and our drivers being the only exceptions.) The people we have dealt with have been apathetic and downright cruel. We resent that they asked us to meet with them in July and tore open the scab that was forming over our hearts by telling us the boys are available and that they were going to do "everything possible" to help us adopt them. I nearly cancelled our IVF procedure and thank God that in the end we did not.

Almat (Head of the Consular Section), as you saw from the e-mails I posted, barely answered our questions and recently his help - that was supposed to be "everything possible" - in reality - turned into giving us a contact person who could help us with the adoption. We did not need a contact person - we needed a swift acting Embassy official to insure our safety and complete this adoption a.s.a.p. so these boys could have a chance at life. Sadly, the Embassy had no intention of offering any "substantial" assistance and only proved my first assumption correct: It was all just lip service. Now, they can say "We met with the De Lorenzo's and offered assistance." They can use this quote to answer any reporters who question why they did not step up to the plate. Every single one of the people we dealt with, who had it within their power to help and didn't, make us sick to our stomachs.

Some people say "Oh, you can only blame Orson Mozes and his wife who is the co-owner and Executive Director and nobody else." Orson and Christen are, of course, the only reason we were in this mess to begin with. However, there are many who could have, and should have, helped to make things right once it was apparent that Orson was working with corrupt people on the Kazak end. It is outrageous that Nigmat is still abusing people and that Dr. Natalia, the Director of the Baby House - as well as Almagul are all still going about their evil business while the Embassy is FULLY AWARE of what they are doing! It is shameful. Lastly, I think it needs to be made very CLEAR to PAPs that Heritage Adoptions is using Nigmat. I am sure other agencies are as well, but Heritage is the one I know for sure is using him. BE VERY WEARY!

Article in Conceive Magazine

2008-08-16T21:35:00.002-04:00

The fall 2008 issue of Conceive Magazine just hit the stands. The article that we were interviewed for is "How to Avoid an Adoption Scam" by Joan Fleischer Tamen starting on page 56. Click on the title of this post to read it. My husband thinks it makes us look like idiots. I think it is a good article. What do you all think?

Update

2008-08-11T08:37:00.004-04:00

We are beyond frustrated with the Embassy. In traditional Kazak style they have left us hanging for weeks now begging for the simplest answers to our questions. When they actually do respond they answer a minuscule portion of what we asked them. The anger we feel cannot be described. Why would they bother putting this on the table and placing this in our healing hearts only to treat us this way once more? It is beyond callous. It is mental and emotional abuse. To read the e-mail exchange between myself and the Embassy click HERE. I am confident you will see why we are so frustrated and angry.

We got our home study updated and we are just waiting for the final copy of it to mail in with our i600a application. We will wait and see what the Embassy has to say, if anything. It is OBVIOUS that we are not using anyone from AIP and would NEVER think of using ANYONE that Orson associated with. Yet, the Head of the Consular Dept. sent us an e-mail telling us to send our papers to our facilitator as soon as we can! Ummm...WE DON'T HAVE A FACILITATOR! So, once more I e-mailed the same questions I have been asking for over a month now...and we will be lucky if they respond some time in the next week. It really is quite pathetic. Then they wonder why we feel everything they say is lip service. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

On a different topic: As I have mentioned, we are going through IVF. Yesterday was my retrieval and they retrieved 19 eggs! Today we will find out how many fertilized. God willing we will become parents somehow.

The Next Step...

2008-07-24T11:00:00.004-04:00

Some people have e-mailed me about their desire to post about us on their blog or link to us. By all means ~ we graciously accept any help and attention that can be brought our way. The ChipIn Widget will continue to accept donations, but we prefer to take it one step at a time since we are not sure what is to come and need to live in the "maybe" zone for our own sanity. As I said, the Embassy is not promising that this will happen and said they cannot "hold" the boys for us. This is one of the primary reasons we have been so hesitant to even open our hearts to this at all. We have been burned severely with this adoption and do not trust anyone or anything that is said to us. Thank you to all who sent words of encouragement, donations, and for all of your prayers. It means so very much to us! It is truly in God's hands.

Mason's Mom asked: Are you willing to adopt other children?
Our Answer: No, the only children we would ever adopt internationally are Stephen and his brother. Our paperwork is being done for these children only and we cannot adopt any others in the orphanage as we are not redoing our dossier...only a few required documents requested by the Embassy and the Office of Children's Rights in order to adopt Stephen and his brother.

THANK YOU ALL!

2008-07-23T17:15:00.003-04:00

We are amazed and feel so blessed by the outpouring of support! We can't thank you all enough. This enables us to move toward being "paper-ready" by getting our home study updated and to reapply for our I171h and get our fingerprints. This is truly an act of faith as we have no idea what the future holds. We feel incredibly blessed by all of your support!

Reaching Out for Help

2008-07-21T15:50:00.002-04:00

Joe and I were not ready to share this information until now and our hand is being forced somewhat by need. During our meeting with the Ambassador and Head of the Consular Dept. we were told that Stephen and his brother would be available for adoption in the near future. We found out today that they are free and clear for adoption immediately. While we would not have to redo our entire dossier, we would have to update our home study and reapply for the I171h. This is a HUGE leap of faith for us as we are not being promised anything - they cannot hold the boys for us and there are still MANY questions which they are seeking answers for us.

However, to even get the ball rolling costs money that we do not have. As I have shared before - we have lost over $75,000.00 due to the crimes of Orson Mozes. We do not even have available credit or we would use that. We are reaching out to the adoption and blog community for help. We do not know what will come, but we feel God is at work in our lives as well as Stephen and his brother's lives right now. We are taking a HUGE risk by allowing our hearts and minds to even consider this possibility. Our wounds are hardly healed and we may have our hearts torn apart again. But our love for Stephen is, and always, remains. He is our son. He will always have a place in our hearts...and it will be a true miracle and for God's glory if he is finally able to come home. Would you consider helping us and being a part of this journey of faith?

Interview with Marina Lombardo

2008-07-17T17:53:00.004-04:00

I mentioned a few weeks ago on my other blogs the book I Am More Than My Infertility by Marina Lombardo and Linda J. Parker and the fact that she wrote about my blog Cribs, Crimes and Corruption. Today, Marina has posted Part I of an interview she did with me. Part II will be posted tomorrow. The blog is great for those going through infertility. Stop by and check it out :)

For anyone who has not visited my other two blogs they are:
http://www.adoptionloss.blogspot.com/ and http://www.cribsandcrimes.blogspot.com/.

Satan's Scarecrows

2008-07-12T09:39:00.003-04:00

Craig Groeschel says in Confessions of a Pastor that fear is a scarecrow:

"What harm can a scarecrow do? We scarecrow constructors know that the answer is "none," but the birds don't know that...If those blackbirds ever figured out our strategy, they'd realize that a scarecrow is actually a tipoff to the location of the best corn!"

I can't deny that fear has been one of the reigning emotions throughout our adoption process. Fear is what kept us with Orson; fear that we were overreacting, wrong, hypersensitive, not trusting God enough, etc... From the moment you realize there is a problem and you are not conceiving a child fear is there. For me the fear of not being a mother has existed for as long as I can remember. I can pinpoint the exact moment in my life when my older brother said something to me that instilled a fear that I would not be able to have children. Having biological children is not important to me or Joe, but being parents is very important. I know that the Liar has used my fear to his advantage and continues to do so as much as I allow him to this day.

Fear is why I struggle with trusting God: What if He gets it wrong? What if He just uses this desire I have to make me wait in order to "develop my faith"? What if He has better things to do? What if this is written in stone and no matter how hard I pray we will never be parents? It is easy to succumb to fear when you allow these kinds of questions to take over your thoughts. But the quote that is above has me asking a new question: What if these fears are nothing but Satan's scarecrows? Perhaps these fears are a way of keeping me away from life's "best corn"! I doubt there is a better corn than that of the peace that comes from trusting God and KNOWING that He has a plan for you that is better than any plan you can dream up.

Right now we are facing yet another challenging decision and, in all honesty, I am afraid of getting it wrong. What if we say "yes" to this challenge and that is not what God wants? But what if the fear is a scarecrow trying to keep us from the "best corn" that God is offering us?

Productive Meeting With Ambassador Idrissov

2008-07-11T09:11:00.002-04:00

Joe and I were invited to meet with Ambassador Idrissov yesterday in Washington, DC. It was a long drive, but worth it. It was a very productive meeting. Ambassador Idrissov, as one could imagine, is very proud of his country and heritage. He does not want crooks like Nigmat and other unscrupulous coordinators to mar the image of his country. There are many people in Kazakhstan who care deeply for the orphans that are unfortunately not in the spotlight. He is dedicated to making changes and rooting out these incidences of corruption.

He is very concerned with the amount of money that agencies are charging American parents because it is not in line with the actual costs of an adoption in Kazakhstan. One of the major problems in the United States (which is the only country that Kazakhstan has these problems with) is that the U.S. does not have one governing regulating body. In all other European countries there is a centralized system and private adoption agencies do not exist.

Since the Ambassador obviously cannot change how the American adoption system works he has the difficult challenge of discerning which agencies are "above board" and which are not. The key to that is transparency. This is indeed a difficult task as some of the very agencies charging inordinate amounts are Hague accredited!

Also present at the meeting was Almat Aidarbekov, Head of the Consular Section. Almat was very cordial and sympathetic to the process that American parents go through in order to adopt. He was able to provide us with factual information about Stephen and his baby brother. Joe and I are not ready to make any public statements about this information, but promise to share as soon as we feel comfortable.

Infertility, IVF, Loss, Hope and Living...

2008-07-08T09:33:00.002-04:00

This beautiful video was on the I Am More Than My Infertility blog this morning. It speaks volumes. I have not announced this on my blog yet so this video gives me the perfect opportunity: We have started our first IVF cycle. I am scared to death to be honest. Afraid to hope after so much loss. However, we know that nothing worth this much comes without GRACE and we pray that God will be glorified through our story. Please pray for us. Thank you to everyone who has traveled this path with us...even if only through the blogosphere.

Ancestors & Adoptees: Food for Thought

2008-07-07T00:01:00.006-04:00

Oprah had a show on the Fourth of July about all things American. One of her guests, via satellite, was Chris Rock and he shared his thoughts about a PBS show titled African American Lives 2. Famous African Americans had their histories revealed to them by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. He discovered that his great-great grandfather enlisted in the U.S. Colored Troops after being a slave for 21 years and that he went on to be elected into the South Carolina legislature as well as going on to own an unprecedented amount of land for anyone of his time ~ and he was a former slave! Chris Rock was choked up at this revelation and had this to say:

“Until I lucked into a comedy club at, you know, age 20, just on
a whim, I assumed I would pick up things for white people for the rest of my life,” Mr. Rock says. “If I’d known this, it would have taken away the inevitability that I was going to be nothing.” He was also quoted saying: "The things I'm doing with my life, they make sense," he says. "Let's just hope that everybody learns where they come from so their lives can make more sense."

Chris Rock's sentiments really struck a cord. I immediately thought of all the adoptees in the United States who are denied this right ~ like the slaves of yesteryear they are treated as though their identities ~ their roots, their story, their tie to humanity is second-class or subpar.

I love stories, especially history, and I love geneology. Considering the fact I am estranged from my own family it may seem odd that I would take such an interest in my family tree, but maybe my interest is actually because of my lack of connection. It does not mean I want things to be different or that I am "hung up" on some dysfunctional family issues...it is just curiousity and a yearning for connection to the past. With every new family picture I unearth I have so many questions: What was this person like? Do I think like they did? Did they struggle with their faith and ask God "WHY?" in difficult times? What were they passionate about? Who did they love? What were their life lessons? And a million other questions.

I remember laughing when I discovered that my maternal lineage and my paternal lineage both had brave men who fought in the Civil War ~ but on opposite sides! Perhaps that is why my parents never seemed to get along -lol.

Obviously, I will never get answers to the majority of my questions. However, at least I have the right to wonder, ponder, and question. I have the right to sift through my family history, shaking the family tree, and either rejoicing, embracing, or being perplexed by what falls out. Shouldn't every American have that right?

I Am More Than My Infertility

2008-07-06T10:18:00.001-04:00

Marina Lombardo, the co-author of I Am More Than My Infertility posted about my other blog Cribs, Crimes, and Corruption (click the title of this post to read it.) I just finished reading her book and it is a MUST read for anyone dealing with the challenges of infertility. You can purchase the book on Amazon or you can purchase it directly through their website at http://www.iammore.net/. Marina Lombardo writes a column called Emotionally Speaking for Conceive Magazine which she describes on her website:

My column in Conceive Magazine is a place to share your stories, ask your questions, and learn from one another’s experiences. Wherever you are on your journey, you have only to reach out to realize you have lots of company. As women, one of our greatest strengths lies in our willingness to share our stories, connect with others…and marvel at how the threads of our experiences bind and connect us all. Let “Emotionally Speaking“ be a place for you to reach out, and a reminder that doing so is an essential part of this truly transformational journey.

It is such a blessing that infertility is an issue that therapists like Marina are devoting their practice and expertise to. Perhaps adoption loss will soon be an area of practice in the field that will help guide adoptive parents through the stages of grief of this unique loss.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-01T20:07:00.005-04:00

I am totally freaking out right now! I have been e-mailing and snail mailing the Dr. Phil show for a year now...and WE GOT A CALL THAT THEY ARE INTERESTED IN OUR STORY! OMG!

Drowning in Paper Clutter?

2008-07-01T14:01:00.003-04:00

I normally don't write about products, but I absolutely LOVE this scanner! It scans things in a snap (hence the name - lol) and instantly converts it to a PDF. You can scan and organize all of your paperwork sooo easily! I just scanned all of our taxes for the last several years and organized them by year in their own "file cabinet" just for taxes. I am scan happy now and I am determined to get all of my paperwork scanned and organized this summer. I purchased mine for just over $250.00 on eBay.

Response from the Embassy

2008-06-27T19:06:00.000-04:00

Dear Mr. and Mrs. De Lorenzo,

First of all, many thanks for your recent letters. As I mentioned before, your situation and similar cases, being of course very sad and regrettable, is a source of valuable information for the Embassy in our efforts to identify and eliminate weak points of the adoption process.

I would like to note, however, that you seem to misunderstand some of our messages.

The Embassy is working on the “adoption reform” at our end i.e. in the US. That is to say – we are trying to make sure that prospective parents have easy and transparent access to proper information on the adoption process, that the US adoption agencies allow no unscrupulous practices in their work with Kazakhstan and serve their clients in an effective manner, and that the Embassy itself is an effective body serving the best interests of, first and foremost, our kids and their parents.

There are our colleagues, professionally dealing with adoption issues, children protection and anticorruption struggle, who are doing their best to make the adoption process on the ground, ie in Kazakhstan (which is fairly good today, I will give you some examples below) even better.

My email related to your blog was also misunderstood, I believe I should have better explained my thoughts. From your letters we understood that you had a very negative experience in Kazakhstan and you of course would like to share your impressions with other parents-to-be. That is your inalienable right, of course, and my letter was not in any way related to that issue. What disappointed me personally was your reference to our efforts as “lip service”. We have just started the improvement process and all its results are yet to be seen and I believe it is at least unfair to refer to it at this initial stage as nothing more than words.

Besides, thank you for your questions below. Some of them are quite reasonable, whereas some of your messages look like an attempt to put additional pressure on us. We made it very clear in the news bulletin that we will not yield to any kind of pressure and will keep on improving the process according to our own vision. It was my personal intention to explain to you our efforts as your letter was the only critical response to the news bulletin, however we will carry on improving the adoption process in the best interests of children and parents, with or without your support. The government and its agencies, which deal with adoption on a day-to-day basis, understand all the challenges and problems, and see opportunities for improvement much better than any external observer.

Yesterday you mentioned that you had no confirmation of the receipt of your letter from our office, yes we never waste time on just confirming the receipt of letters – we WORK on them and then get back to senders with results in hand. Those who prefer to check if their correspondence is delivered, just send us emails themselves and we confirm it that way.

As far as your particular case is concerned we hope to receive info from Kazakhstan quite soon, and then we will set up a meeting when Ambassador’s schedule permits. If you can send us copies of your court papers, please do so. The more info we have in hand, the better.

Just to show you that adoption in Kazakhstan can be a pleasant experience, and it usually is, let me use just a couple of extracts from the emails that we started receiving from American parents after the release of the bulletin (no names, of course).

“My wife and I have tremendous respect for the adoption system in Kazakhstan, it is truly unique in its emphasis on ensuring a healthy transition for the child, as well as significant gratitude for the caregivers who looked after our daughter in the first two years of her life… We would appreciate any opportunity to give back to the country we have come to love and feel grateful to”.

“If it wasn't for Kazakhstan, I wouldn't have my much-loved daughter. Once I traveled to Kazakhstan, the coordinator …was great. After my glowing experience with the agency, coordinator and country, … have decided to adopt from Kazakhstan”

Best regards as ever,

Zhanbolat

Our Letter to the Embassy

2008-06-27T10:48:00.002-04:00

June 27, 2008

Dear Mr. Zhanbolat Ussenov:

In your recent e-mail you requested our support for the efforts being made toward a more transparent adoption process in Kazakhstan. While we applaud the Kazakhstan government for these beginning steps in limiting the corruption in the adoption process, we feel it has come too late to help the adoption of our sons. However, we are committed to our goal in educating prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) and being a catalyst for the end of corruption within the Kazakhstan adoption process. In an effort to demonstrate our support I have created a new blog titled KIN: Kazakhstan Information Network at http://www.kazinfonet.blogspot.com/. It is our hope that this blog will provide prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) with clear, concise, and factual information about the adoption process in Kazakhstan from a neutral party.

Our continued support is contingent upon a face to face meeting in the very near future. We hope to communicate positive news during upcoming media interviews regarding the efforts being taken by the Kazakhstan government to protect the rights of all members of the adoption triad. Some questions that we have after reading the press release are:

What monitoring procedures does the Kazakhstan government have in place for weeding out greedy orphanage directors who play God with innocent children’s lives?

Where is the transparency of the steps in the adoption process? Are PAPs made aware of the waiting period where family members can come back to take the child from unsuspecting adoptive parents?
What process does the government have to ensure that PAPs won’t be asked to pay “extra fees” and that type of corruption will be eliminated?
Where or what is the process of monitoring the orphanages so our children are not left homeless and helpless in the orphanages?
Is there a process to investigate individual adoptions to look at unique situations that would allow for an appeal process to complete adoptions where money has been paid to these orphanage directors who refuse to allow the adoption to complete?
Is there a process to ensure that no government officials are financially tied to unscrupulous agencies from any country? What are the punishments for those found to be profiting from failed or false adoptions?
Is the Kazakhstan government willing to post a list of agencies that they have found to use unscrupulous procedures in adoption? What is the mechanism for preventing these agencies from working again in country?
Is the Kazakhstan government willing to speak to those PAPs who have paid money to people in Kazakhstan but had to leave their children behind? Are they willing to help us complete these adoptions which are in the best interest of the children and their future?

We are aware that there are changes needed in the United States to move toward a centralized system, but the current system in Kazakhstan doesn’t appear to be in the best interest of the children. We are glad to hear of changes being made to the current Laws on Family and Marriage and are interested in hearing about the proposed changes.

We also believe that the Kazakhstan government misunderstands how the current adoption process in Kazakhstan provides fertile ground for the exploitation of children and corruption on both sides.

Joe and I look forward to meeting with the Ambassador in Washington, D.C. and hope that we can have these questions answered or assist in the proper reform of the adoption process in Kazakhstan. Please be aware that this communication will be posted on our blogs as we have a loyal following of PAPs and parents who have completed adoptions in Kazakhstan who share our concerns.

Yours truly,
Dawn and Joe De Lorenzo

Kazakhstan Government Paying LIP SERVICE!

2008-06-24T14:43:00.000-04:00

This recent bulletin issued by the Kazak government enrages me. Here it is and I respond to the points that I have a major contention with:

Special Issue No 7, June 20, 2008
Information Note on International Adoption from Kazakhstan

The Government of Kazakhstan is committed to monitoring the process of international adoption in Kazakhstan as well as keeping a close eye on the living conditions of adopted Kazakh children abroad. How about monitoring their own orphanages where there are greedy orphanage directors playing God with innocent children's lives?

Kazakhstan considers adoption to be one of the best forms of tutelage for children who for any reason lack parental care, although the priority is given to biological parents or, in their absence, to child's relatives. If a child cannot be adopted by its relatives, adoption by Kazakhstan citizens is the next preferred option. And if that is also not possible, only then can a Kazakh child be adopted by foreign families. As the economic well-being in Kazakhstan continues to grow, the number of domestic adoptions in the country is increasing, whereas the number of international adoptions is falling correspondingly. Since the Marriage and Family Code was enacted in 1999, 30,184 children have been adopted in Kazakhstan; of that number 23,012 children have been adopted by Kazakhstan citizens, 6,791 by foreign citizens and 281 by relatives from abroad. The United States is by far the most popular destination for adopted children from Kazakhstan (in 2000-2007 American families adopted more than 5,000 Kazakh kids, with highest number of US adoptions in2004). In 2007 Embassy of Kazakhstan to the US registered 515 American families intending to adopt Kazakh children.

The Consular Section of the Embassy of Kazakhstan closely monitors the international adoption in Kazakhstan by US citizens as well as the living conditions of Kazakh kids. The step-by-step process of international adoption in Kazakhstan is briefly as follows: Future parents wishing to adopt a Kazakh child contract with a duly licensed agency to collect all the required documents and prepare a dossier which should be submitted to the Consular Section of the Embassy of Kazakhstan. Having checked and verified all the documents (which takes up to one month) the Embassy sends the dossier to the Foreign Ministry where the processing procedures also last for about a month. Afterwards, the dossier goes to the Education Ministry which, after another month-long procedure, passes it to proper regional agencies (Education Departments and orphanages) and their review of the dossier takes up to one month. Having received a positive feedback from the regional agencies the Embassy issues a special visa for parents-to-be (visa category – private, purpose of travel – adoption). Such a visa can be issued only by invitation of Kazakhstan's Education Ministry or a regional Education Department. Traveling to Kazakhstan for adoption purposes with any other kind of visa (e.g. tourist, business) is strictly prohibited. All in all, processing of a dossier in proper Kazakh agencies can take up to 5 months.

In Kazakhstan, prospective adoptive parents must personally choose their future child and spend at least two weeks with him/her to get to know each other closer and learn the child's personality and habits. The final decision on adoption of a child is then taken by a Kazakh court based on the application submitted by the prospective parents. Adoption cases are considered by courts on an ad hoc basis in accordance with Kazakhstan's civil procedural law. After a proper court order is issued, a registrar's office and migration police issue the adoption and birth certificates and a Kazakh passport for the adopted child. This is quite an understatement of the exact process in country. There is NO mention of the waiting period after the court approves the adoption - the period of time when your child can be ripped away from you!

Fees payable to Kazakh agencies in the course of the adoption process are as follows: The Consular Section of the Embassy charges up to $180 per dossier for consular registration (issuing a certificate to confirm registration, attesting translation and documents in the dossier). State agencies in Kazakhstan charge no fee for dossier processing. Without the extra "fees" I doubt ANY paperwork would be processed - everyone in the adoption process there is in it for the money and knows that American parents will pay whatever is asked to have their child! There could be some expenses for issuing the power of attorney for the parents' representative in Kazakhstan; consular fee for a new passport for the adopted child as well as the registration fee at the Consular Department of the Foreign Ministry (all in all, about 12,000 tenges or $100). Besides, there are also some legal expenses related to court proceedings, which are quite reasonable. Parents may make a voluntary financial donation to the orphanage if they choose to do so.

One of the main principles of adoption in Kazakhstan is the protection of the rights and interests of both adopted children and adopting parents. Sorry, but this is TOTAL BS in my opinion. They could have cared less about us - and if they cared so much for our sons they wouldn't be rotting away in orphanages! Kazakhstan recognizes the important role played in the adoption process by such facilitators as duly licensed adoption agencies, but firmly believes that these agencies have no right to make commercial profit through the genuinely noble and humane process of adoption. If they care so much they would have looked at our unique situation/circumstances and helped us get our sons! And what about the scum orphanage directors who take money?

According to Kazakh legislation, to adopt a child, foreign citizens are allowed to work with a representative (coordinator) in Kazakhstan, whose rights and obligations are defined by Kazakh laws.Our review of the current system of adoption of Kazakh children by American citizens has revealed a number of problems which may lead to violation of the humane principles of adoption. One of the main reasons for such a situation is that, unlike in other countries, in the United States there is no single authorized government agency which would oversee the entire process of adoption, including the control over annual reports on the living conditions of adopted children. They have a centralized system, but it is NOT set up with the best interests of the children in mind! The people who work within this system are pond scum who profit through coercion.

The main players on this field are numerous duly licensed private (not-for-profit) US adoption agencies. Usually, American citizens wishing to adopt Kazakh children refer to such adoption agencies for assistance and sign contracts with them. The Embassy has found out that in many cases parents pay upfront 50 percent of the overall agency fee only for preliminary consultations on a Kazakh adoption (in average, overall fees could be more than$25,000) and the most part of the sum is non-refundable. We have learned about some cases of unscrupulous behavior by some agencies. For example, there have been situations where parents had to collect and prepare all the necessary documents themselves and the agencies simply provided them with the list of documents for a dossier which is posted and easily accessible on the website of the Embassy of Kazakhstan. Ummm - this is what ALL the agencies do! I do not know of any agency that completes the paperwork for you unless it is for an additional fee.

It seems also that some adoption agencies are trying to make undue commercial profits by dealing with such routine matters as consular registration, documents translation and processing, and sometimes agencies even try to gain benefits from changing the region in Kazakhstan where a child is going to be adopted from. For instance, one agency put in its contract a $840 charge for consular registration with the Embassy of Kazakhstan, whereas the Consular Section of the Embassy charges no more than $180 for the registration (the Embassy does not charge American Parents any other fees). Besides, the contract says that the "family understands that fees related to the adoption process abroad might be changed and are out of Agency's control. Therefore, the Agency does not take responsibility for such changes and is not liable for additional expenses." Such a provision makes it possible for the agency to charge extra fees for alleged "fast-tracking" of adoption process in Kazakhstan. Kazak officials are also profiting from these extra fees!

Analysis of documents submitted by various agencies showed that some of them deliberately concealed invalid data and ill-validated documents in dossiers to speed up registration with the Consular Section of the Embassy. For instance, one dossier contained a forged copy of doctor's license; there were other forged documents. Some agencies even tried to use unethical methods to "fast-track" registration with the Consular Section. We also have learned that some agencies made attempts to "monopolize" the international adoption for US citizens in Kazakhstan and even threatened other agencies that if they did not start working under their aegis, these agencies' activity in Kazakhstan would be blocked through their coordinators on the ground. This points to the fact that there are corrupt people WITHIN the Kaz system profiting from unscrupulous American agencies.

We believe that the reason for all the above shortcomings and violations is the lack of transparency in the activity of a number of US adoption agencies as well as in the lack of knowledge by American parents about the adoption procedures in Kazakhstan, related fees and other expenses. So, no fault lies within their own country? Therefore, it seems that adoption of Kazakh kids by American parents may have become a source of undue commercial profits for some unscrupulous agents, who abuse the humane principles of adoption enshrined in The Hague Convention and Kazakh legislation.

Yet another negative aspect of the issue is that it mars Kazakhstan's image as some agencies use the parents' lack of knowledge to present adoption in Kazakhstan as a protracted and inefficient process full of red-tape and corruption; and request additional expenses on behalf of parents to "overcome" these obstacles. This is the statement that outraged me the most! They had the opportunity to assist our family and the didn't! THERE IS CORRUPTION and there is red-tape and corruption in their system! They could have and should have helped to rectify our situation rather than say "Oh well, you'll have to start all over again" or "just pick another child."

In other words, some agencies and their coordinators in Kazakhstan abuse parents' willingness to pay "any price" to adopt a child as soon as possible, and make undue profits. It is worth repeating here once again that there are no major fees to be paid to Kazakh government ministries or agencies in the process of adoption (except for the above consular and registration fees at the Embassy and the Foreign Ministry as well as minimal legal expenses). Therefore, the Embassy has begun considering certain measures to optimize and refine its work with US adoption agencies. These measures are aimed at protecting the rights and interests of Kazakh children and their adopting parents in the US as well as at maximizing the transparency of the adoption process and eliminating loopholes for making undue profits through the noble process of adoption. Great for PAPs in the future, but what about the ones already screwed and the children already left behind and doomed to a life of poverty, drug and alcohol abuse and prostitution?

In particular, we believe that these measures will help to optimize the number of US adoption agencies willing and able to work efficiently on behalf of American parents to adopt Kazakh kids. The main criteria for us to evaluate the agencies will be their ability to supply the Embassy with transparent information on the rules and procedures of their work with adopting parents, fees and tariffs involved, as well as their commitment to send to the Embassy regular post-adoption reports on adopted children until they reach the age of 18 as required by Kazakh law. We would like to emphasize that until the above complex work is completed the Embassy will continue as normal receiving and processing adoption documents from all agencies except for those that have seriously violated ethical norms. They should announce these agencies so the poor PAPs dealing with them now know they are screwed!

Authorities in Kazakhstan are also taking relevant steps to ensure transparency in the work of coordinators on the ground who represent the interests of American parents in the country and serve as their liaison with Kazakh government agencies involved in the adoption process. Efforts are being taken to create a databank of such coordinators. We would also like to announce that the Parliament of Kazakhstan is currently considering joining and ratifying the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Cooperation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption. Kazakhstan is also drafting a new Family and Marriage Code which will also cover the issue of proper accreditation of foreign adoption agencies' branches in Kazakhstan. All these efforts will contribute to providing greater transparency, fairness and order in Kazakhstan's cooperation with foreign partners (including the US) on international adoption.

Our efforts are also aimed at eliminating the unacceptable and often unscrupulous practice of "fast-tracking" documents in various Kazakh agencies. We recognize that the adoption process is not swift but this is justified by the high responsibility of adoption decisions. We hope for understanding on behalf of parents and adoption agencies. As a matter of principle, the Embassy has briefed the US State Department, through Deputy Assistant Secretary for Overseas Citizens Service Ms. Michele Bond and Consular Affairs Bureau representative Mr. Gerry Fuller, as well as the Joint Council on International Children's Services on the situation around the adoption of Kazakh kids by American families. We are glad that a friendly dialogue and mutual understanding have been established with our American counterparts over this complicated issue. Interestingly, a number of agencies reacted to our efforts in a peculiar way. The Embassy has a copy of an email message that has been circulated by an agency to other agencies and parents stating that the Embassy is groundlessly stonewalling the process of adoption. The message was written in the form of an unambiguous instruction calling for maximum pressure on the Embassy through a wave of complaints to various US institutions, including US Embassy in Kazakhstan, Senators and Congressmen representing the districts where parents and their agents reside. The Embassy would like to point out that it won't yield to any kind of pressure and firmly intends to implement its plans on streamlining and improving the process of adoption in Kazakhstan by American parents.

The Embassy is fully open, however, to holding a face-to-face meeting with adopting parents and adoption agencies to jointly look for ways of providing maximum convenience for parents and full transparency of the adoption process. Ummm, we reached out to them at least a dozen times and they didn't even bother to return our calls or respond to our e-mails and letters! I can only conclude that this is lip service.

The Embassy would also welcome the creation of an association of American parents who have adopted kids from Kazakhstan. Such an association could be instrumental in assisting American parents to find better ways of building relations with their Kazakh kids during the post-adoption period and in many other ways. In its next Information Note on international adoption the Embassy will provide more information on adoption procedures as well as offer some practical advice on cooperation with US adoption agencies working in Kazakhstan and with their coordinators on the ground. We will also offer a set of transparent criteria for adoption agencies which will lay the basis for optimizing the list of most preferred agencies that could be recommended to all American parents intending to adopt children from Kazakhstan.

Orson Featured on America's Most Wanted Website!

2008-06-17T16:30:00.000-04:00

I am so happy to announce that Orson is featured on the America's Most Wanted website! Click on the picture above to go to check it out! Joe and I pray that this helps bring Orson back to the United States to face the courts and pay for what he has done to so many. We are working with AMW on the next steps toward putting this on national TV.

Help Promote My Blogs...

2008-06-14T13:47:00.002-04:00

You can help promote this blog as well as my others by rating this blog on blogged. Thanks for your help!

Do You Have Tweens or Teens?

2008-06-13T16:09:00.003-04:00

Most of you know I am a middle school teacher ~ language arts special education. I just created a website for tweens and teens to come and read books together and discuss them with other tweens and teens throughout the nation and beyond! The site, Book Buzz, is hosting our very first GIVEAWAY ~ tweens and teens can win a $25.00 gift card for Borders! Please check it out and pass the word :)

What Can We Do???

2008-06-11T18:44:00.003-04:00

This couple is from New York, so Hillary Clinton is the first contact that could be of assistance. PLEASE, let's begin with faxes and phone calls on their behalf: FAX NUMBER is 1-212-688-7444. Her staff liasons can be reached via phone at this number: 1 (212) 688-6262

A Tribute to Our Sons...

2008-06-01T10:00:00.001-04:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Winner of My First PIF Book Exchange...

2008-05-31T19:56:00.003-04:00

Okay - there were only two people who entered. Where are all my bloggers? Congrats to OW at Overwhelmed With Joy!

One Day Left to Enter the Pay It Forward Book Exchange!

2008-05-30T15:34:00.001-04:00

I will select a winner tomorrow - so if you want a chance to win the book I Choose This Day leave a comment (see below.)

Sweet Story

2008-05-25T12:49:00.003-04:00

The title of this post has a link that takes you to a sweet story about two boys who grew up being best friends and then discovered they are brothers!

My First Pay It Forward Book Exchange!

2008-05-24T22:59:00.007-04:00

I am having my first Pay It Forward Book Exchange hosted by Overwhelmed With Joy. The book I am giving away is I Choose This Day by Sharon Fieker:
To enter to win you must leave a comment here on this blog and be a US resident. I will choose a winner on the last day of this month so be sure to check back! To see more book give aways go over and check out Overwhelmed With Joy!

The New American Family ~ Let's Lose the Labels

2008-05-22T19:45:00.005-04:00

The New American Family ~ Let's Lose the Labels

Written by Lee Woodruff

I've been thinking a lot about people's definitions of family. There seem to be so many more options today about how families are configured. Nicole Ritchie's pregnancy bump, stalked and photographed like the dodo bird, caught my eye in the airport on the cover of a celebrity weekly magazine. Nicole, of course, being just one of many in a long line of high-profile, single, unwed moms. There was a day when this kind of news would have set disapproving tongues a-wagging. Now the speculation is more about whether or not the poor gal has enough meat on her bones to carry a child to term. For the most part, people seem to be fairly blasé and accepting of her single parenthood. Although I'm quite sure moral outrage still lurks in neighborhoods and pulpits throughout America.

I'm old enough that I still have one foot in the era where it was shameful, downright socio-pariah stuff for a girl to become pregnant with no husband. I remember well the wedding of a friend I grew up with who walked down the aisle sprouting her own bump on her wedding day. I remember clearly the muffled conversation of the matrons in hushed tones and their disapproving, eyebrow-raising shorthand. The message was -- maybe good girls do it -- but the smart ones hide the evidence.

Before my time, heck, probably during my time, unwed moms were "sent away" disappearing mysteriously in the night when their delicate condition began to show. Movies and books always seem to depict them being banished to cruel aunts' houses in the plains states or all girls homes, religious institutions which must have provided as much fun as watching a chemically-infused Twinkie harden in the open air.

And now, here we are, proudly proclaiming from the pages of OK and Star magazine the triumphant bump-hunt. Poor JLo seems to be on constant bump watch, as does fading honeymooner Nicole Kidman, or the stalked-like-a-gazelle Angelina Jolie. God forbid the poor young things just had an extra fish taco that day, and the evidence bulged over their low-rider waistbands. Some of them are so waiflike that a simple case of constipation could be considered a suspicious bump these days.

So as a culture, we've taken the flaming scarlet "A" out of bringing a baby into the world solo. And now we've moved on to viewing single parent adoption as de rigeur. Once it would have been deemed a bold move to adopt a child alone. Sheryl Crow recently adopted a baby boy, a single Meg Ryan added a Chinese daughter to her son, to name a few. Of course, the celebs we see doing it have plenty of means to offset the hardship --- nannies, cooks, personal trainers all must surely ease the fatigue and downright loneliness at times of single parenthood. But I see regular Joes and Josies know doing it, too. Single women who have missed the call of the ovaries and decided they wanted to be mothers are going the route of foreign adoptions -- without the fat wallet and with full knowledge that this will be an exhausting, sometimes isolating undertaking, a juggling act with three rings and two hands. But one with a huge pay-off, nonetheless.

Thanks to Brangelina, we have ushered in a new level of acceptability for the blended family. They've created a wonderful patchwork quilt of adopted and home grown brood, from different continents and cultures, some just hers legally? Some his, too? Who knows, does it matter? While for decades, friends have been adopting from China or Russia or the former Soviet Union, Brad and Angie put the "cool" stamp on multi-ethnic families.

So here is the thing I still don't get. Flipping through my guilty pleasure celeb rag on an airplane recently, I stumbled over an article about Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's kids. The thing was that the reporter used the word "adopted" kids. And it struck me as a little too much information. These kids have to be in their teens. Haven't they now logged enough time in the family to qualify as just plain "kids" rather than focusing on the way they came into the family? I don't hear people refer now to Joan Lunden's surrogate twins. Or furthermore -- people don't say -- "his missionary position child and the one by IVF."

Our family had just such an untraditional formation in 2000 when we used a gestational carrier to bring our twin daughters into the world. I'd had a hysterectomy after losing a child, our third, and after looking at many options, Bob and I decided to give surrogacy a shot. It was a lot more bizarre then, let me tell you. We had a lot of "splaining" to do in the neighborhood once we announced the news. But I'm quite sure they'd feel affronted or bemused if we referred to our girls as "the implanted embryos." We could meet with a little resistance on that one. It's a sure path to a couch in the shrink's office. We've been very open with our twins about how they came into the world. I dare them to say that with all that effort and all those needle jabs of hormones we didn't want them fiercely, desperately. This was no spontaneous tryst on a summer night during a blackout. But the rigors of IVF are way beside the point when describing my girls. In fact, come to think of it, due to laws that haven't caught up with the technology of fertility, we actually had to legally adopt our own biological kids once they were born. So, truth be told, they are adopted too. Like Tom and Nic's two kids, or Brad and Angie's brood, it's simply old news. Absolutely unimportant.

When my husband Bob Woodruff was in a coma after having been hit by an IED while covering the war in Iraq for ABC News, our family went through its toughest trial yet. When it became apparent Bob wasn't waking up, I came to terms with the fact that it was time for my children to see their father, however frightening that sight might be.

In a moment I will remember forever, my eldest daughter approached her father for the first time in his hospital bed, his brain swollen out of his head with a traumatic brain injury from the blast. The side of his face was disfigured, his skin peppered with hundreds of tiny rocks and dirt that had been packed around the bomb.

In a supreme act of love and hope that her Daddy was still in there somewhere, Cathryn leaned over Bob's good side to play the "kissing game" -- their father-daughter routine of kissing as long as they could on the phone when Bob was covering stories long distance.

"Daddy," she said in a soft but amazingly brave voice. "You have to wake up, we all need you to come home."

What happened next was the first sign to me that my husband was in there. As Cathryn kissed his "good" cheek, a tear ran out of Bob's eye and down his face. We both screamed for the nurse to come and see -- proof that somewhere in that swollen, damaged brain, Bob recognized his daughter.

"There is a connection there of blood and of DNA," the doctor had told me. "It's a genetic connection that is stronger than his bond with you -- no matter how much he loves you."

I've thought a lot about what she said to me that day. And I've thought about it in terms of my friends with adopted kids. Would that connection to their dad be any less strong? Would a "mere" adopted child have been able to reach her father that way?

I'm no parenting expert to be sure. And I don't have all the facts on the nature/nurture debate. But I do know all kinds of families, families who love their children, no matter what their color, genetic make-up or how they came into the world. They love them with all their hearts, genetics be damned.

I'd like to think love does conquer all. The supreme bond between a parent and child is sacred, whether they came into the family with a donated egg or from an orphanage in Mali. I think its time we lose the labels and be grateful that there are loving homes, open arms and people willing to get down in the trenches of parenthood and slog it out. Every single exhausting, lonely and wonderfully rewarding day.

Join Our Book Group!

2008-05-17T21:21:00.004-04:00

I just created a book discussion group centered around Adoption Education and Reform for anyone who is interested in adoption. I hope to have open and honest conversations from mulitple viewpoints and perspectives.

CLICK HERE TO CHECK IT OUT :)

Agency Background Check

2008-05-17T10:28:00.007-04:00

Joni Fixel of Fixel Law Offices, PLLC is now offering a priceless service for PAPs~ and Agency Background Check. I am so excited that PAPs will have a viable means to avoid being bilked out of money and having their hopes and dreams destroyed. You can read about these services here:

Agency Background Check

What's New...

2008-05-16T22:15:00.004-04:00

There are three things I wanted to share with you. The first, is that a group of adoption fraud victims are contributing authors on my newest blog and it is worth checking it out: http://www.cribsandcrimes.blogspot.com/. There is a TON of information there including links to artiles, lawsuits against adoption agencies, helpful resources to avoid scams and fraud, the stories and heartache of many as well as advice from those who have "been there ~ done that".

Second, is a blog I created for those who have experienced an adoption loss. With the recent closing of Guatemala I realize there are likely more than a few grieving PAPs out there. There are also more PAPs than one would hope who have gone through the excrucating experience of loving and bonding with a child only to lose him or her for any number of reasons. That blog is http://www.adoptionloss.blogspot.com/.

Lastly, Ethica is presently raising money and, in my opinion, they are THE most worthy, independent voice for ethical adoptions. You can donate ~ see my sidebar.

Adoption Agency Research Questionnaire

2008-05-14T19:37:00.002-04:00

I created an Adoption Agency Research Questionnaire to assist PAPs while they are gathering information. I wish I had asked more questions and spent more time on the research and information gathering part of our journey. I hope this helps PAPs avoid some of the pitfalls along the way. Permission is granted to use for personal purposes only. Click the title of this post to download this document. Thanks! :) Dawn

NY Times Article

2008-05-13T15:54:00.001-04:00

This article is about the many agencies going out of business and not being able to meet Hague Accreditation. It also mentions Waiting Angels and Orson Mozes (Adoption International Program, Inc.) which was co-owned by Christen Brown.

PLEASE HELP WITH MY SURVEY

2008-05-12T22:15:00.003-04:00

I posted this survey about international adoption and e-mailed a few people as well...THANK YOU if you took the survey! I need 47 more participants to take the survey. So, please - it is not that long. Just click the link above :)

THANKS! Dawn

***The survey to the right in the sidebar is a different one.***

Infertility Etiquette

2008-05-11T08:58:00.002-04:00

Infertility Etiquette
By Vita Alligood

Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.

The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. Most infertility treatments involve using hormones, which alter the user's moods. (That statement is like calling a lion a cat-my husband would tell you that the side effect is insanity!) The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money. Infertility treatments are expensive, and most insurance companies do not cover the costs. So, in addition to the pain of not conceiving a baby each month, the couple pays out anywhere from $300 to five figures, depending upon the treatment used.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:

They will eventually conceive a baby.
They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.

Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.

Don't Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.
Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.

These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, "If you just relaxed on a cruise . . ." Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.

Don't Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.

Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.

Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?

Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the "worst" thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.

People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don't tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.

Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.

Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man's sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another store?"

There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to pursue this option. Here are a few of them.

IVF is Expensive with Low Odds
One cycle of IVF is very expensive. With all of the hype in the news, many people assume that IVF is a sure thing when, in fact, the odds of success for each cycle are low. Most couples cannot afford to try for one month, much less for multiple times. Considering that it also costs a significant amount of money to adopt a baby, many couples opt for the "sure thing" rather then risking their money on much lower odds.
IVF is Physically Taxing. Undergoing IVF treatments is very rigorous. The woman must inject shots into her thigh daily to cause her ovaries to superovulate. The drugs used are very taxing on the woman, and they can cause her to be become extremely emotional.
IVF Raises Ethical Issues: Ironically, couples who undergo IVF to become parents may have to selectively abort one or more fetuses if multiple eggs are fertilized. Many couples cannot bring themselves to abort a baby when they have worked so hard to become parents. If the couple chooses not to selectively abort, they run the risk of multiple births.

Don't Offer Unsolicited Opinions If They Are Trying IVF
On the flip side of the coin, don't offer unsolicited advice to your friends who do choose to try IVF. For many couples, IVF is the only way they will ever give birth to a baby. This is a huge decision for them to make, for all of the reasons I outlined above.

If the couple has resolved any ethical issues, don't muddy the waters. IVF is a gray area in many ethical circles, and many of our moral leaders don't yet know how to answer the ethical questions that have arisen from this new technology. If the couple has resolved these issues already, you only make it harder by raising the ethical questions again. Respect their decision, and offer your support. If you can't offer your support due to ethical differences of opinion, then say nothing.

A couple who chooses the IVF route has a hard, expensive road ahead, and they need your support more than ever. The hormones are no cakewalk, and the financial cost is enormous. Your friend would not be going this route if there were an easier way, and the fact that she is willing to endure so much is further proof of how much she truly wants to parent a child. The hormones will make her more emotional, so offer her your support and keep your questions to yourself.

Don't Play Doctor
Once your infertile friends are under a doctor's care, the doctor will run them through numerous tests to determine why they aren't able to conceive. There a numerous reasons that a couple may not be able to conceive. Here are a few of them:

Blocked fallopian tubes
Cysts
Endometriosis
Low hormone levels
Low "normal form" sperm count
Low progesterone level
Low sperm count
Low sperm motility
Thin uterine walls

Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an "expert" on the subject. Let your friends work with their doctor to diagnose and treat the problem. Your friends probably already know more about the causes and solutions of infertility than you will ever know.

You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject. The problem comes when you try to "play doctor" with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about. The doctor knows more about the causes and solutions; let your friends work with their doctor to solve the problem.

Don't Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don't make crude jokes about your friend's vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or "Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination" are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.

Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.

The number one rule is DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.

Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes."

I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends' new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.

Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.
Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.

Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.

Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband's sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend's privacy, and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.

Don't Push Adoption (Yet)
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose. Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, "Why do you want to adopt a baby?" Instead, the question was, "Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?" Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.
You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn't her "own," then adoption isn't the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby. Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, "Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.") However, "pushing" the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.
So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.

Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren't going through this alone.

Remember Them on Mother's Day
With all of the activity on Mother's Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother's Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law. Mother's Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother's Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven't "forgotten" them.

Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don't try to open that chapter again.

Mother's Day is Devastating for Women Facing Infertility

2008-05-09T21:06:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day is Devastating for Women Facing Infertility

Community Mourns Laura Cleaves

2008-05-08T22:07:00.001-04:00

PLEASE TAKE A SURVEY...

2008-05-07T17:06:00.003-04:00

Please take my survey if you have adopted or attempted to adopt internationally. Another survey will be launched in the near future for those who have adopted or attempted to adopt domestically.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO SURVEY

You may only take the survey ONCE from your IP address.

I Would Die for That (...me too)

2008-05-03T14:18:00.001-04:00

Rest in Peace Laura

2008-05-02T17:54:00.005-04:00

Laura Cleaves, the Supervising Santa Barbara District Attorney Investigator for the criminal case against Orson Mozes, was killed last night in a three car collision by a drunk driver. Laura has been the driving force in this investigation and someone we have all come to respect and admire a great deal. She put her heart into her work and all of the AIP victims are grieving her loss and praying for her family at this tragic time. God Bless Laura and her family.

Happy Third Birthday Alex

2008-04-26T08:45:00.005-04:00

Alex...you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. Your smile stole our hearts from the start. I pray that you are well.

Happy Birthday Stephen

2008-04-25T08:29:00.002-04:00

Stephen...we miss you so very much. There are no words. I love you my sweet angel. Happy second birthday with all our love...Mommy & Daddy

More Orson Mozes News...

2008-04-23T07:53:00.000-04:00

WANTED: Orson Mozes (KSBY)

2008-04-22T22:16:00.000-04:00

WANTED: Orson Mozes (KCOY)

2008-04-22T21:24:00.001-04:00

Orson Facing 62 Felony Charges

2008-04-15T07:25:00.002-04:00

Happy Second Birthday Stas

2008-03-01T16:23:00.002-05:00

One year ago today we held you in our arms and delighted in being with you for your first birthday. We think of you every single day and we miss you dearly. I pray that you are well. I do not know why things turned out this way, but we will love you forever Stas.

YouTube Video of the ABC News Report Part 1

2007-09-13T08:07:00.001-04:00

I thought I would put the YouTube video here for a few people who are having trouble navigating their way to the video. :)Dawn

BOO HOO

2007-09-12T20:14:00.000-04:00

The following e-mail was sent today to AIP clients:

Dear Client:
We are writing to advise you that Adoption International Program has exhausted its financial resources and has been forced to cease operations. This unfortunate outcome has arisen because of the sudden departure of Orson Mozes and the economic problems that his unexpected departure have created for the corporation.

ABC News Story PART 2...

2007-09-11T19:33:00.002-04:00

Thank you to everyone who sent us such supportive e-mails! :) Dawn

7Online.com:

2007-09-10T21:28:00.000-04:00

7Online.com: You can watch the video using this link.

Update

2007-09-08T08:46:00.000-04:00

Many people have asked that I post an update on how we are doing. Honestly, I don't know what to say...do people really want the truth? Things suck - we are heartbroken and financially near ruin. This is not the kind of news anyone enjoys reading or hearing about so we keep things to ourselves. The Kazakhstan government is the epitome of corruption and the apathy that pervades many post-soviet countries. All of our boys will most likely spend the rest of their lives in the orphanage. How can anyone come to terms with that?

I am back to work...which is both good and bad. I am grieving and it is difficult facing colleagues and students who thought we were going to get our baby this summer. Some asked questions, but news travels fast and most know not to talk to me about it. My students, as always, are the joy of my day. I have a great group of students this year and will enjoy seeing them blossom during their first year at middle school. Many have issues with self-confidence ~ so I hope to make an impact in that area the most. Reading and writing are incredibly important ~ but if the kid really doesn't like himself they aren't worth much in my opinion.

WATCH ABC NEWS on SEPT. 10th

2007-09-01T10:23:00.000-04:00

Our story (along with other victims of AIP) will air on Monday, September 10th during the 5:00 pm news broadcast (may be a 2-part - so on Tuesday too). ABC News is Channel 7 here in NY/NJ. This is a GREAT night for it to air since it is right after Oprah's first new show of the season.

E-Bay Items for Sale

2007-08-03T23:43:00.000-04:00

My Last Post

2007-08-01T15:50:00.001-04:00

The title of this blog is "Our Adoption Journey" and now that our adoption journey has come to its final chapter it is time to move on from this blog. I am thankful for all the people I had the honor to "meet" out in bloggerland. I just want to thank each and every person who has prayed for us and for our son. Your prayers, encouragement and positive thoughts have meant a great deal to us. Most of the bloggers that walked this journey with us are now home with their children and living their new lives as a forever family. I wish you all the best and pray you will always know what a miracle you have in your little ones.

The News

2007-08-01T09:56:00.000-04:00

The news is not great. We are being stonewalled and it seems the time has come for Joe and I to put this to rest and grieve all that we have lost.

Here is the news I got from Anastasiya. She talked to Oksana today and found out next:
1. They still don’t know if mother appealed or not, Anastasiya made a request to the court and results will come in a week, but most likely she didn’t;
2. Oksana told that though mother is deprived of her parental rights towards her first baby and gave up her newborn, according to the legislation of Kazakhstan in 6 months she can apply for rehabilitation of her parental rights. Oksana told that Inna doesn’t seem really care about the destiny of her children but her power of attorney for some reasons does. So there is a possibility that he will apply for mother’s rehabilitation.
3. They named the baby Andrey, like his brother
4. Oksana was shocked when Anastasiya had mentioned the picture of a newborn in the website. She said this is illegal.
5. Oksana told you can not have a picture of the baby and get any information about his health before you’re here in Kazakhstan visiting him.
6. You will have to collect all the papers again if you’re willing to come in 6 months because the papers our government has from you will expire. You also have an option to come till the end of this year to adopt another child. In this case you won’t have to update your papers except few ones.

NO NEWS YET!

2007-07-31T13:50:00.000-04:00

The torture continues! We have not heard anything yet other than the fact that our attorney is meeting with Oksana from the Ministry of Education tomorrow. I just pray that meeting goes well and she gets a plethora of information to share with us. Oksana truly seemed to want Stephen to be with us and cried after court once. I pray she continues to have good feelings toward us. I have found the people are very two-faced there (or at least those involved with adoption/orphanage/agency). For some reason Dr. Natalya was very nice to us when we were there ~ and very nice to our attorney initially, but the last conversation our lawyer had with her she said that Dr. Natalya was suddenly different and very cold.

The INTERMINABLE Wait

2007-07-30T14:50:00.000-04:00

The past year and three months have been one LONG INTERMINABLE WAIT...and here we are waiting yet again! The word "frustration" doesn't even come close to describing how this feels. I haven't heard from our attorney is Ust-Kamengorsk or our contact there since Wednesday. For those who have been to Kazakhstan ~ you know this is not unusual. Things just "run" differently there. Tomorrow is officially the last day that Inna can appeal the court's decision to deprive her parental rights. Waiting to hear this news is unbearable.

We are also waiting for information about the newborn baby boy. Our attorney did speak to the orphanage director ~ so there is a line of communication open and I am hoping that when I hear from her next that she tells us she was able to see both children and that she has some updates for us. Praying, praying, praying.

Holding Our Breath

2007-07-28T10:32:00.000-04:00

Inna has two weeks to appeal the court's decision to deprive her parental rights. They deprived her rights on July 17th...so we have been holding our breath since we found out. We decided that if she appeals we have to let go. We can't continue to fight if Inna is going to appeal. Soooo ~ please pray that Inna does the right thing and doesn't appeal the court's decision.

Twenty-One Years...

2007-07-27T12:42:00.000-04:00

It is hard to believe, but my brother has been deceased for 21 years today. It is hard to believe it has been that long. So, I just wanted to say "I love you and I miss you Robbie!"

IMPORTANT ACCOMPLISHMENT!

2007-07-27T10:41:00.000-04:00

I am so happy to say that Adoption International Program has been removed from ALL THREE of the major photolisting sites: Precious.org, Adopting.com and WelcomeGarden.com! This is a huge victory as the majority of us were lured into using AIP by a picture of a beautiful child on one of these photolisting sites. I owe a BIG THANK YOU to all who worked hard to accomplish this in an effort to save families the heartache of losing a child that should have never been promised to them in the first place. THANK YOU ALL!

I think it should be noted that Kevin Anderson and Christen Brown continue to run AIP unethically (and illegally according to Kazakh laws) by quoting clients a NEW and EVEN HIGHER percent (90%!) that they will get the child they selected from an illegal photolisting.

Dilemma...

2007-07-25T07:09:00.000-04:00

UPDATE: Some people are asking similar questions. We have nothing to do with AIP anymore...we have an attorney in Ust who would handle everything. We also would not have to do our paperwork over...just a couple of updates.

I honestly don't think that we are going to be able to change the Kazakh governments mind about us having to wait another six months to come back for Stephen. To further complicate things ~ they are also being adamant that we must take the newborn brother. I just don't know what to do about this.

I want more than one child. However, we did not plan to adopt two children under the age of two at the same time. My husband is also much more of a planner and is VERY hesitant to take on two babies with so many unknowns. We have a small house and only one bedroom for the children. We do not know what special needs either of the boys will have considering their mother drank through both pregnancies. Financially, I would be home with the boys the first year and we would be relying on one salary.

I just have no idea what we should do. I do not want to let go of Stephen. I have room in my heart for a hundred children. But it is scary. It is also something my dh and I disagree on. I believe things always have a way of working out. I believe that if we have both Stephen and his brother we are doubly blessed and somehow we will manage...and have more joy than we ever imagined. Bloggers, please...what is your advice and wisdom?

Congressman Ferguson to the Rescue

2007-07-24T15:27:00.000-04:00

While our Congressman can't promise anything ~ at least we now have one more person on the wagon trying to help us. Our attorney in Ust-Kamengorsk also said it is very, very good that Inna's rights were deprived. We just pray that Inna doesn't appeal it again. Hopefully, she doesn't and on August 1st her rights will officially be deprived. Then, our attorney can appeal the court's last decision on May 30th to not hear our case because we didn't show up. Oh - the joy!

Orson's Wife, Christen Brown, Says THERE IS NO MONEY...

2007-07-23T12:36:00.001-04:00

1373 School House Road, MONTECITO, CA 93108List #07-3092

Nestled down a private lane, this fabulous Mediterranean estate is situated on over 1 acre of lush landscaping. Complete with lovely mtn views, the main home has 4bd/3.5.ba, formal dining, spacious master suite, vaulted ceilings, hardwood floors, 4 fireplaces, & French doors. There is also a separate guest apt. Gated, the beautifully landscaped grounds enjoy fruit trees, Koi pond, loggia & lawns.

Listing Office
Prudential California Realty - 1
Location Info
District
10 - MONTECITO
Map
C17
County
Santa Barbara
Parcel Number
009-070-031
Cross Street
Pimiento

Contract Info
Price
3,325,000
Status
Active
Property Information
TYP
Home/Estate
Total Bedrooms
4
Total Bathrooms
3.5
Total Full Baths
3
Total Half Baths
1
Year Built
1973
Source
Public Records
Apx # Acres
1.09
Within City Limits
No
Total #Units
1
Neighborhood/Schools
Neighborhood
Other
Elementary School
Mont Union
Junior High School
S.B. Jr.
High School
S.B. Sr.
Details
Condition:
Good/Excellent
Style:
Medit; Spanish
Construction:
Two Story
Roof:
Tile
Foundation:
Slab
Exterior:
Stucco
Parking/Garage:
Cpt #2
Grounds/Landscaping:
Patio Open; Patio Covered; SPA-Outside; BBQ; Lawn; Fruit Trees; Fenced: ALL
View:
Mountain; Setting
Location/Topo:
Level
Proximity:
Near Park(s); Near School(s); Near Shopping
Rooms:
Family Room; Office

Dining:
Formal
Laundry:
Room
Amenities:
Guest Quarters
Fireplace(s):
FR; LR; MBR
Flr/WDW Covering:
Carpet; Hardwood
Heating/Cooling:
GFA
Water/Sewer:
Mont Wtr
Zoning:
R-1
Terms:
Cash; Ctnl
Room Name
Room Level
No. of Rooms
Dimensions
Area
Room Remarks
Living Room
25' x 22'
Dining Room
14' x 12'
Family Room
19' x 18'
Master Bedroom
22' x 14'
Room Name
Room Level
No. of Rooms
Dimensions
Area
Room Remarks
Bedroom 2
13'6' x 11'6'
Bedroom 3
18' x 11'
Bedroom 4
15'6' x 12'
Extra Room 1
11'6' x 7'6'

Response from the Embassy

2007-07-21T14:05:00.000-04:00

The news is not great, but we are glad to finally have answers from a reliable source. The courts deprived Inna's rights on the 17th of July. She has 15 days to appeal that decision. After that Stephen goes back on the registry for six months. If we want to adopt him we have to do everything all over again. So, essentially, it is as though we were never there and bonded with him already. What a system, right?!?!

LOVERBOY ORSON

2007-07-20T16:38:00.001-04:00

Orson, aka funlovguy, apparently has time to put himself out there on http://www.match.com/ now that he is no longer running AIP (according to his minions).

funlovguy
I love women and I could be your best friend and lover. I enjoy life to the max and can be there for you!!
Active over 3 weeks ago
· 55-year-old man
· Santa Barbara, California, United States
· seeking women 45-65
· within 200 miles of Santa Barbara, California, United States
Relationships:
· Currently Separated

Have kids:
· Yes, and sometimes they live at home (2)

Want kids:
· Do not want to have kids

Ethnicity:
· White / Caucasian

Body type:
· A few extra pounds

Height:
· 5'11" (180cms)

Religion:
· Spiritual but not religious

Smoke:
· No Way

Drink:
· Social drinker, maybe one or two

In my own words
for fun:
I love to travel; anywhere hot and exotic. Scuba;swim, tennis or just walk on the beach at sunset. I am passionate person. I love to dance. Horses. Sensitive to life and women. Lots of energy. Love movies, hiking, I am a good listener and talker
my job:
I own an international adoption agency. I can work anywhere. As much or as little as I want.
my religion:
I value all faiths. I have been raised jewish but I do not practice.
my education:
I have learned most of what I know from the life college and every day experiences.
favorite hot spots:
Come to Nepal and visit tiger tops or Bora Bora or just any beach resort. Love spas. I can take it easy with a book or dance the night away. I do not like bars prefer a quiet night talking or reading.
favorite things:
Candel light and soft music. If it is raining of course the fire place. Music feeds my soul. I enjoy growing in sprit and mind. I designed shoes etc many years. My own line. Had stores in Beverly Hills ten years. So shopping with my honey is fun.
last read:
The Master Key System; by Charles Haanel basis for the Secret . Enjoy self help

About my life and what I'm looking for

I am a strong but I will bend easily for the women I love. I want someone who can take care of themselves financially. I love to travel and dance and love to cuddle and kiss. I want someone who is strong of character but who is very affectionate and knows what she wants in a man because I love to please if I love someone. I can joke easily and I am very social. I enjoy people or I can be a loner for long periods of time. I also like a women who can see me through my eyes and look past my looks into my heart and visa versa. I am looking for a life companion as I know everyone is. I want to take my time to get to know somone; learn what is in their heart and mind and if we can find majic together.

About me
Hair:
· Light brown

Eyes:
· Blue

Best Feature:
· Legs

Body art:
· None

Sports and exercise:
· Dancing,
· Racquet sports,
· Swimming,
· Walking / Hiking,
· Weights / Machines,
· Yoga,
· Skiing

Exercise habits:
· Exercise 3-4 times per week

Daily diet:
· Fast food,
· Keep it healthy,
· Meat and potatoes

Interests
· Coffee and conversation,
· Cooking,
· Gardening/Landscaping,
· Movies/Videos,
· Museums and art,
· Music and concerts,
· Nightclubs/Dancing,
· Performing arts,
· Playing sports,
· Travel/Sightseeing

Education:
· Some college

Occupation:
· Self Employed

Income:
· $150,001+

Languages:
· French

Politics:
· Liberal

Sign:
· Sagittarius

My Place:
· Live alone

Pets I have:
· Birds,
· Dogs,
· Fish,
· Other
Pets I like:
· Cats,
· Exotic pets,
· Gerbils,
· Horses

Height:
· 5'0" (152cms) to 6'0" (182cms)

Body type:
Any

Languages:
· English

Ethnicity:
· White / Caucasian

Faith:
Any

Education:
Any

Job:
Any

Income:
· $150,001+

Smoke:
· No Way

Drink:
· Social drinker, maybe one or two

Relationships:
Any

Have kids:
Any

Want kids:
· No way

Turn-ons:
· Boldness / Assertiveness,
· Brainiacs,
· Candlelight,
· Dancing,
· Erotica,
· Flirting,
· Money,
· Power,
· Skinny dipping,
· Thunderstorms

Turn-offs:
· Sarcasm

HOORAY for the US Embassy in Kazakhstan

2007-07-18T23:50:00.001-04:00

OUR EFFORTS FINALLY PAID OFF!!! When the phone rang this evening at 10pm I didn't think it would be the US Embassy in Kazakhstan, but it was! (Muriel...I thought it was you - lol!) The Chief Consul was responding to the "numerous" e-mails and faxes they have received from us and on our behalf. Thank you all for your effort!!! We spoke at length...they know all about Orson and his antics. As a matter of fact he said Orson was "a train wreck."

But the focus was primarily on what took place while we were in Kazakhstan. I informed him of our first loss, Stas and then of course, Stephen. I gave him every name there is on our court documents and he is going to look into it immediately. THANK GOD! All we have wanted is answers....and - OUR SON! Based on what I explained he did not understand why we don't have Stephen. However, I can only tell him what I was told...who knows what the truth actually is.

Bottom line...he is going to find out what is going on with Stephen AND find out the truth about Stas. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU LORD!

ASSISTANCE NEEDED WITH LEGAL FEES

2007-07-15T11:27:00.000-04:00

I hate doing this - I constantly feel like I am begging people for money. So many have helped already and we appreciate it more than you will ever know.

We need everyone to help - PLEASE. While my husband and I can cover the legal expenses to get the ball rolling with the civil lawsuit...there are families interested in participating that DO NOT have the money to do so. The up front cost is $2500.00 - this fee is VERY reasonable, but some families have been financially destroyed by Adoption International Program and a failed adoption.

Please, please - if you can donate EVEN $1.00 it will help! THIS AGENCY NEEDS TO BE STOPPED!

ANYONE INTERESTED IN THE CIVIL LITIGATION CASE AGAINST AIP/ORSON MOZES...CLICK HERE!

2007-07-14T15:37:00.001-04:00

This is the law firm handling the civil case. Remember, if you have information that you believe may be relevant to the criminal case, please contact Investigator Laura Cleaves at the Santa Barbara District Attorney's Office.

If you would like Attorney Joni Fixel to send you information on how to participate in this civil lawsuit you can e-mail me directly and I will forward your contact information to her.

THANKS!

Good News from Attorney!

2007-07-13T14:04:00.000-04:00

The attorney we consulted in California gave us good news today! She went through everything we had...contract, e-mails, photos, etc... She said we have an EXCELLENT case against AIP! This is great because there are many more families who want to be a part of a civil case. The litigation attorney that we were referred to has an excellent reputation for going after corrupt adoption agencies.

Naturally, the criminal case will have to be prosecuted first, but there will be a "stay" filed and once criminal charges are filed and that case goes to court - it can only strengthen the civil case.

The optimism of the lawyers has been a great boost for us. No matter how long it takes - we want AIP to pay for the suffering they have caused our family and hundreds of others.

If you are interested in being a part of the civil case please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thanks!

Questions to Ask Your Agency BEFORE You Sign on the Dotted Line!

2007-07-12T11:00:00.000-04:00

This is a link to an excellent resource for PAP's in the research stage. If any agency you query is annoyed by your questions, brushes you off, or treats you as though you are a moron and just don't know "how things are" in that country - RUN! Do not work with an agency that never seems to have answers! You need to know your agency will be acountable for their actions AND the actions of their facilitators in the country!

Contact Info. for the PA Southeast Region Office of Children, Youth and Families

2007-07-10T03:38:00.000-04:00

Anyone who experienced a problem with International Adoption Program, Inc. owned by Orson Mozes and Christen Brown with Kevin Anderson now serving as the Adoption Director, please fax or mail your complaint to:

Southeast Region Office of Children, Youth and Families

1400 Spring Garden Street

502 State Office Building

Philadelphia, PA 19130

(215) 560-2249

(215) 560-6893 FAX

2007-07-08T12:51:00.000-04:00

PLEASE HELP US...

Anyone can do this - you do not have to be an adoptive parent or someone who worked with Orson Mozes/Adoption International Program, Inc. "supposedly being run by Kevin Anderson and Christen Brown Mozes now.

Please send an e-mail to the Embassy in Almaty at adoptionsalmaty@state.gov

formally requesting, as a citizen of the United States, that they investigate the De Lorenzo family adoption and help them bring home their son! If you DO have a story to tell about your dealings with AIP -be it with Orson, Nigmat, Kevin, Christen, Almagul or nay other party involved...please share it with them. Also, do not forget to include your contact information in case they want to follow up with you.

Express your outrage that an American family can be placed in such circumstances and have their child torn from them. State that you insist they follow up and uncover the true details of the De Lorenzo adoption and why three children were loved and lost by this family and they are now home with an empty crib and out $40,000.00.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

Dawn & Joe (Alexander, Stas & Stephen)

2007-07-08T10:20:00.000-04:00

For some reason I am not able to type in a title for my posts...is anyone else having that problem?

Anyway, I wanted to let everyone get a good look at Orson and Christen's lovely home for sale:

http://homes.realtor.com/prop/1075046241

AND SHE TOLD ME THERE IS NO MONEY!!!

PLEEEAAASSSE! What a joke!

BOO HOO - POOR POOR CHRISTEN

2007-07-07T16:47:00.000-04:00

Nigmat...I know you are reading this blog since it was less thank two weeks ago that you asked me for permission to read it. Be my guest...I am sure you will learn a lot about what true justice looks like here in the good ol' USA! I just wanted to let you know that although you probably think we are quite busy dealing with Orson/AIP and do not have the time or inclination to bother with you...you are wrong. We are coming after you too! We have already contacted several government officials about you and they are looking forward to assisting us.

Almagul - you are not being left out sweetie...you will also pay for not appearing for us in court. Don't fret - I wouldn't forget you :)

ABC Eyewitness News ROCKS!

2007-07-06T18:58:00.000-04:00

Joe and I had our interview with ABC News today! I am exhausted to be honest with you. It is hard to rehash all the stories and the pain...especially when you are on camera. If there is anyone I did not get a chance to call back today - I am sorry - I will cal tomorrow. I am just beyond tired and I haven't slept in days. I am taking the night off ;-) Thank you ALL for your support! This week brought many victories and steps in the right direction.

VICTORY!!! APPLAUSE for PRECIOUS.ORG!!!!!!!

2007-07-06T11:16:00.000-04:00

Muriel,

Thank you for your email. You are not the first parent that has ofrecent informed us of information such as this. We have alreadybegun an investigation into the matter. Through several parenttestimonies, quality agency information, and working withorganizations such as the BBB we have chosen to remove AdoptionInternational Program from our listings. We have a strong desire tobe the premier provider for prospective parents to connect with goodand ethical adoption agencies on the internet. Our regulations foradoption agencies are strict and we are working to ensure that ALLagencies that partner with us are providing best practice for theparents that they work with and the children that they serve. I haverecently posted a blog regarding what Precious.org is doing toensure quality agencies for our user base.On a personal note, as an adoptive mother, my heart absolutelybreaks for parents who have had terrible adoption experience withthis agency and this type of practice. I can not imagine the achethat families have felt through this experience. I certainly hopeand pray that this experience, which is far from what an adoptionshould be like, has not turned you off from adopting children thatwould greatly benefit from your family, home, and love.Kind Regards,Katie Brabson, MSWSenior Editorwww.precious.org

Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute

2007-07-06T01:47:00.000-04:00

***ANOTHER WAY YOU CAN HELP ~ Find the representatives in YOUR state AND in California and Pennsylvania (where AIP is Incorporated) and send a letter. I am posting the list of CCA Members here for your convenience. You can visit the CCA website at http://www.ccainstitute.org/.***

CCA Membership
198 Members
97 Democrats, 100 Republicans, 1 Independent
53 Senators: 24 Democrats & 28 Republicans & 1 Independent
145 Representatives: 73 Democrats & 72 Republicans
Represented by 47 States and the District of Columbia

CO-CHAIRS:

Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA)
Rep. Jim Oberstar (D-MN) Rep. Dave Camp (R-MI)

Alaska
Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R)
Sen. Ted Stevens (R)
Alabama
Sen. Jeff Sessions (R)
Rep. Robert Aderholt (R)
Rep. Bud Cramer, Jr. (D)
Arkansas
Sen. Blanche Lincoln (D)
Rep. Vic Snyder (D)
Rep. John Boozman (R)
Arizona
Sen. John McCain (R)
Rep. Rick Renzi (R)
Rep. Raul Grijalva (D)
California
Sen. Barbara Boxer (D)
Rep. Tom Lantos (D)
Rep. Michael Honda (D)
Rep. Zoe Lofgren (D)
Rep. Dennis Cardoza (D)
Rep. Elton Gallegly (R)
Rep. David Dreier (R)
Rep. Brad Sherman (D)
Rep. Adam Schiff (D)
Rep. Henry Waxman (D)
Rep. Xavier Becerra (D)
Rep. Diane Watson (D)
Rep. Linda Sanchez (D)
Rep. Gary Miller (R)
Rep. Ken Calvert (R)
Rep. John Campbell (R)
Rep. Doris Matsui (D)
Rep. Bob Filner (D)
Rep. Duncan Hunter (R)
Rep. Lynn Woolsey (D)
Rep. Barbara Lee (D)
Colorado
Sen. Ken Salazar (D)
Rep. Thomas Tancredo (R)
Connecticut
Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I)
District of Columbia
Rep. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D)
Florida
Sen. Mel Martinez (R)
Rep. Bill Young (R)
Rep. Dave Weldon (R)
Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R)
Rep. Robert Wexler (D)
Rep. Ginny Brown-Waite (R)
Rep. Cliff Stearns (R)
Georgia
Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R)
Sen. Johnny Isakson (R)
Rep. Phil Gingrey (R)
Rep. David Scott (D)
Hawaii
Sen. Daniel Akaka (D)
Sen. Daniel Inouye (D)
Iowa
Sen. Chuck Grassley (R)
Sen. Tom Harkin (D)
Rep. Steve King (R)
Idaho
Sen. Larry Craig (R)
Rep. William Sali (R)
Illinois
Sen. Richard Durbin (D)
Sen. Barack Obama (D)
Rep. Jerry Costello (D)
Rep. Judy Biggert (R)
Rep. Donald Manzullo (R)
Rep. John Shimkus (R)
Rep. Dan Lipinski (D)
Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D)
Rep. Danny Davis (D)
Rep. Melissa Bean (D)
Indiana
Sen. Evan Bayh (D)
Sen. Richard Lugar (R)
Rep. Mark Souder (R)
Rep. Dan Burton (R)
Rep. Mike Pence (R)
Rep. Julia Carson (D)
Rep. Baron Hill (D)
Kansas
Sen. Sam Brownback (R)
Sen. Pat Roberts (R)
Rep. Nancy Boyda (D)
Rep. Jerry Moran (R)
Rep. Dennis Moore (D)
Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R)
Kentucky
Sen. Jim Bunning (R)
Louisiana
Sen. Mary Landrieu (D)
Rep. William Jefferson (D)
Massachusetts
Sen. Edward Kennedy (D)
Sen. John Kerry (D)
Rep. John Olver (D)
Rep. William Delahunt (D)
Rep. Marty Meehan (D)
Rep. John Tierney (D)
Rep. Michael Capuano (D)
Rep. Stephen Lynch (D)
Maryland
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D)
Maine
Sen. Susan Collins (R)
Sen. Olympia Snowe (R)
Michigan
Sen. Carl Levin (D)
Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D)
Rep. Sander Levin (D)
Rep. John Conyers, Jr. (D)
Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R)
Rep. Vernon Ehlers (R)
Rep. Dave Camp (R)
Rep. Fred Upton (R)
Rep. Tim Walberg (R)
Rep. Michael Rogers (R)
Minnesota
Sen. Norm Coleman (R)
Rep. Jim Ramstad (R)
Rep. Collin Peterson (D)
Rep. James Oberstar (D)
Missouri
Sen. Kit Bond (R)
Rep. Todd Akin (R)
Rep. Russ Carnahan (D)
Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D)
Rep. Roy Blunt (R)
Rep. Jo Ann Emerson (R)
Mississippi
Sen. Thad Cochran (R)
Rep. Chip Pickering, Jr. (R)
North Carolina
Sen. Elizabeth Dole (R)
North Dakota
Sen. Byron Dorgan (D)
Rep. Earl Pomeroy (D)
Nebraska
Sen. Ben Nelson (D)
Rep. Lee Terry (R)
New Jersey
Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D)
Rep. Donald Payne (D)
Rep. Frank LoBiondo (R)
Rep. Jim Saxton (R)
Rep. Christopher Smith (R)
Rep. Frank Pallone (D)
Rep. Bill Pascrell, Jr. (D)
New Mexico
Rep. Heather Wilson (R)
Nevada
Sen. John Ensign (R)
Rep. Jon Porter (R)
New York
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D)
Rep. Tim Bishop (D)
Rep. Vito Fosella (R)
Rep. Charles Rangel (D)
Rep. Nita Lowey (D)
Rep. Michael McNulty (D)
Rep. Louise Slaughter (D)
Rep. Peter King (R)
Rep. Carolyn McCarthy (D)
Rep. Gary Ackerman (D)
Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D)
Ohio
Rep. Patrick Tiberi (R)
Rep. Deborah Pryce (R)
Rep. Jean Schmidt (R)
Rep. John Boehner (R)
Oklahoma
Sen. James Inhofe (R)
Oregon
Sen. Gordon Smith (R)
Sen. Ron Wyden (D)
Rep. David Wu (D)
Rep. Greg Walden (R)
Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D)
Rep. Peter DeFazio (D)
Rep. Darlene Hooley (D)
Pennsylvania
Sen. Arlen Specter (R)
Rep. Paul Kanjorski (D)
Rep. Mike Doyle (D)
Rep. Joseph Pitts (R)
Rep. Philip English (R)
Rep. Patrick Murphy (D)
Rhode Island
Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D)
Rep. James Langevin (D)
South Carolina
Sen. Jim DeMint (R)
Rep. Joe Wilson (R)
South Dakota
Sen. Tim Johnson (D)
Rep. Stephanie Herseth (R)
Tennessee
Rep. Zach Wamp (R)
Rep. Jim Cooper (D)
Rep. Bart Gordon (D)
Texas
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (R)
Rep. Mike Conaway (R)
Rep. Kay Granger (R)
Rep. William Thornberry (R)
Rep. Ron Paul (R)
Rep. Nicholas Lampson (D)
Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D)
Rep. John Carter (R)
Rep. Pete Sessions (R)
Rep. Joe Barton (R)
Rep. Kevin Brady (R)
Utah
Sen. Orrin Hatch (R)
Rep. Rob Bishop (R)
Rep. Jim Matheson (D)
Virginia
Sen. John Warner (R)
Rep. Jo Ann Davis (R)
Rep. Frank Wolf (R)
Rep. Virgil Goode, Jr. (R)
Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R)
Rep. Eric Cantor (R)
Vermont
Sen. Patrick Leahy (D)
Washington
Sen. Patty Murray (D)
Rep. Jay Inslee (D)
Rep. Jim McDermott (D)
Rep. Dave Reichert (R)
Rep. Adam Smith (D)
Wisconsin
Sen. Herbert Kohl (D)
Rep. Tammy Baldwin (D)
Rep. James Sensenbrenner, Jr. (R)
Rep. Thomas Petri (R)
West Virginia
Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D)
Wyoming
Sen. Michael Enzi (R)

PLEASE REACH OUT TO PHOTOLISTING SITES

2007-07-06T01:31:00.000-04:00

I urge you to write to the photolisting sites used by Adoption International Program and request that they cease allowing AIP to "advertise" babies on their sites. There are three primary sites I know of where AIP posts pictures (illegally of coarse): adopting.com, precious.org and welcomegarden.com.

Here is a generic letter (this template is addressed to the owner, Jason Damkoehler, and the senior editor, KatieBrabson, of precious.org) You can cut and paste and then add your contact information to it. His e-mail is precious.org@mac.com & Katie's is klbrabs@mac.com. Please also send this letter to info@welcomegarden.com & info@adopting.com.

Dear Mr. Damkoehler & Ms. Brabson:

As the parent of an internationally adopted child I am gravely concerned about the fact that Mr. Orson Mozes of Adoption International Program (stated to be located in Pennsylvania, but this is just a front – he is actually located in Santa Barbara, CA) is utilizing your website to lure in prospective parents with illegal photolistings. As the owner of precious.org, you must bear the burden of insuring that your site is not used for illegal and unethical business practices. I am sure you are not an advocate for selling babies, but that is exactly what this man is doing.

Adoption International Program, Inc. is co-owned by Christen Brown-Mozes who reports that Mr. Mozes is no longer part of the company and that Mr. Kevin Anderson is now the Director of the company. I provide this information so you may be on the lookout for anyone associated with this company. You can confirm for yourself that there is an open investigation on Adoption International Program, Inc. and specifically Mr. Mozes, with the Santa Barbara District Attorney’s office.

Being a part of this great and vast group of parents is such an honor to me. I stand firmly against anyone who supports the abuse of children and adoptive parents in any and all manners. You are currently supporting illegal, unethical and immoral adoption practices by allowing Adoption International Program to utilize your website. I respectfully request that you remove Adoption International Program, Inc. from your website and demonstrate your support for the ethical treatment of adopted children and their parents.

Respectfully yours,
Please add your name and contact information here (including e-mail).

SPEAK UP!!!

2007-07-05T15:02:00.001-04:00

OKAY PEOPLE...TIME TO SPEAK UP. IF YOU HAVE BEEN BURNED BY ORSON YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO SPEAK UP TO THE SANTA BARBARA DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S OFFICE. PLEASE CONTACT:

LAURA CLEAVES

(805) 737-7885

1112 Santa Barbara Street

Santa Barbara, CA. 93101

***PLEASE ALSO CONTACT***

LISA at:

Southeast RegionOffice of Children, Youth and Families

1400 Spring Garden Street 502 State Office Building

Philadelphia, PA 19130 (215) 560-2249 or (215) 560-2823

Also, I started a Yahoo Group: Stop Orson Mozes AIP - please join if you are interested in helping us stop this pain and suffering. The link is at the top of the blog. THANK YOU!

ABC Channel 7 Eyewitness News

2007-07-03T14:34:00.000-04:00

I just got off the phone with a young lady from Channel 7 Eyewitness News (ABC) who responded to an e-mail we sent about our story. She is going to share our story with the editor and see if they can do a story on our situation.

PLEASE...if you are a former client or current client of Orson Mozes ~ AIP ~ and you wish to speak out and are willing to talk to a reporter send me an e-mail with your contact information in case they want to follow up with you.

Thanks!

Thanks Lauren...

2007-07-02T21:28:00.000-04:00

Lauren (formerly Lauren & Marco, but now their blog ishttp://ourcupcake.blogspot.com/ ) drafted up a letter that people can cut and paste to send to Orson. Thank you Lauren!

To Orson Mozes, AIP, and all characters involved in the Delorenzo Failed Adoption: As families in the International Adoption Arena we wanted to take a moment to inform you the Delorenzo's are being heard through the internet, media, and word of mouth with deep compassion and sympathies. The lack of ethics, morals, and poor business practices will not be tolerated. As a group we will continue to post and pass the word to new families to beware of your photolistings, large upfront fees, and failure to complete an adoption in a successful manner. On behalf of the Delorenzo's we urge you to return all monies paid to you and your company at once. This story, the pain the Delorenzo's, and the reputation of AIP will continue until there is a resolution that is satisfactory to this family. All Families in the International Arena will stand together! EMAIL TO: info@adoptaip.com & Kevin@adoptaip.com

THIS STORY IS LIKE A SOAP OPERA...

2007-07-02T15:48:00.000-04:00

Orson's wife called me today and introduced herself as the OWNER of AIP. We questioned her and she explained that she is Orson's wife and that they are getting divorced and that Orson had a nervous breakdown. She claims the business is ruined and there is no money to give to us! What a load of crap!

The End

2007-07-02T11:19:00.000-04:00

Nigmat informed us that the courts are not going to deprive Inna's rights. This is the end of the road for us. I am going to leave this blog open as a sort of memorial to our sons.

WE NEED YOUR HELP:

A simple e-mail from hundreds of people to Orson would certainly get his attention. Please, would you assist by sending an e-mail to Orson stating how appalled you are by our case and that the right thing to do would be to refund our money. Of course, if Orson does not voluntarily do this we will take him to court, but we have been through enough already.

Orson's e-mail is: info@adoptaip.com and if you would kindly cc Kevin as well at kevin@adoptaip.com. Thank you so much for your help.

I wish all of you the best on your journey to your chosen children! For those of you home with your baby...thank God for your precious one each and every day and never forget the gift and true miracle you have been blessed with.

Dawn & Joe