Sunday, December 10, 2006

Broken-Hearted and Empty

There are no words to describe what we are feeling right now. Our agency just informed us that our baby boy, although still at the orphange, cannot be adopted due to hs mother not relinquishing him for adoption. I feel nothing but hopelessness. This entire adoption has been the worst experience of our lives.

19 comments:

Rhonda said...

I am SO very sorry. How hard for you guys. You're in my prayers.

The Cook said...

I am sooo sorry. I can't believe this. What a load of crap. Hang in there. I am calling you right now.

Jennefer said...

I can not even imagine. I AM SO SORRY!!! You are right. There are no words. What a horrible time to get this news. You must be out of your mind with every negative emotion. Have they given you any other hope? Again, I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you and your family tonight. Lean not on your own understanding on this- have faith in His plan for you and your son! God Bless!

Ginger--Maya's mommy said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I too lost a referral in July because the birthmother changed her mind. My heart goes out to you. If you need to talk/vent/cry feel free to e-mail me at gindeborah@yahoo.com . Hang in there.

Chris Sapp said...

Dawn, words cannot express how sad I am for you at this time. Losing a child is something only someone has gone through it understands. He is there, but yet you can't get to him. I know your pain and please lean on me for support. I STILL love my first two babies like my first two babies and always will. I encourage you to grieve...and take as long as you need. I needed a long time. With that said, I found it in it somewhere to go on... to learn to carry the grief and go on. I was in the hospital sick with grief, fear, depression, anxiety, you name it the day before we left.... but I still got on that plane. Sometimes I just sit back back and watch Mateo and Natalia experience new things. Watching Natalia watch "Frosty the Snowman' on tv, watching Mateo hand parts of the tree to his Papa...it truly is a miracle. No...it didn't happen the way I waned it to....it didn't happen on my terms....it didn't happen with the children I had imagined my life with, but it happened on God's terms. I'm grieving with you, Dawn. I know your pain and I'm sorry for the loss of your son.

Alleen said...

Oh my gosh. I am so,so sorry. I don't have words that could possibly comfort you, but I will pray for peace and healing in your hearts.

Unknown said...

I am very sorry Dawn. I have tears in my eyes. I really thought you were going to get him. I know how hard this is... hang tough though. There is another little boy out there who needs a mommy as tough, strong and loving as you.

Anonymous said...

Please dont lose hope. This happened to us 3 times during our Kaz adoption. However, in the end, we traveled "blind" and found our son. We even had to pass on some of the children they showed us when we got there. In the end, we knew who was ours. hang in there. If your heart led you to kaz, it wont deny you. Your child is still waiting. Take time to grieve your loss and refocus yourself on your goal. If I can help in any way: wwoodse@comcast.net Also, our story: http://home.comcast.net/~wwoodse
Sincerely, /heather

Anonymous said...

Oh Dawn, I am truly sorry that you have had to once again another disappointment. I don't understand this whole concept of referring a child to a family and then the bio family stepping in and doing this stuff after so long. I really hurt for you and hope you will find comfort from those who totally understand the pain you are going through.

Anonymous said...

Words seem so inadequate when trying to convey the sorrow one feels. Please know that though you may not even know who we are, we hurt and pray for you. We pray that your hearts will heal and that you will continue your journey to becoming a family. Though it's hard to imagine it will happen

Melissa said...

I am sorry to hear that. I truly hope they find you another referral and you go over immediately to get him. That is a very rough break.

Anonymous said...

Dawn, I'm so sorry. A lot of us have gone through this pain. I know I understand how you feel. When I lost Vladimir I literally fell to my knees. The grief is that strong.

But I believe your spirit is stronger than the grief. Take time to mourn the loss of having this little guy as your son. But hold on to future hope. There is a child out there waiting for you. You'll find him. I just know you will.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. We went through a referral loss too and I know the pain. Trust in God. He knows what's best and has the perfect child for you. We didn't understand why we went through that until he led us to our new sons. Then everything was much clearer. Hang in there. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain is certainly terrible.

6blessings said...

The last post was from me. For some reason it posted as anonymous. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry for your news. I'll be praying for you.

Anonymous said...

I know EXACTLY what you are going through..........I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. I cried for 2 weeks straight. Ugh. My heart is so sad for you. I will pray you will find some peace. But I know you will go to Kaz and find the love of your life there........you will come home with him or her and you will not even look back at this, ever! I KNOW it. Love, Tam

Anonymous said...

I've only just been able to catch up on your blog a bit. I am so, so sorry you have lost your son. I pray that you get through this and find strength to move on and find your child, God's child for you. We lost the referral of two sisters back in April and are here in KZ now adopting the most precious 8 year old boy and his 6 year old sister. They are so perfect and you will have your perfect child soon too. God Bless you.

Sarah

Overwhelmed! said...

Oh Dawn, I'm so very sorry to hear this news. Adoption can be so hard at times!

I'm sorry. :(