Considering my mood this week I found it ironic that today's Bible verse was about FAITH. Hmmm...knock-knock. Who's there? Your Higher Power. Well, I suppose that is what is causing all this anxiety - a lack of faith; Not believing in what I cannot see or control. This is especially hard for me since I always go after what I want with tremendous passion and determination (and need I say with a total lack of tolerance for waiting?). My "other mother" - a woman who is truly my mother at hear, asked me the other day if I was losing my mind because I was crying and pretty much having a melt down and an "I want him right now" tantrum. I think that the pressure of school starting again is getting to me. While I know that work is a healthy distraction I can't help but feel insecure about my job since I am not tenured and when I travel it will be on short notice (although I have already given them the heads up).
The other moms in our informal "group" are traveling soon and I think that makes me feel sorry for myself too. Boo-hoo, why can't it be me? Boy, I better find something good to chat about soon or you're all going to abandon me - lol. I feel as hormonal as any pregnant woman would! Unfortunately, you get sympathy when your prego, not when you are adopting.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Today's Bible Verse
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4 comments:
You will not be abandoned. The waiting is hard, hard, harder than hard. At each stage it is hard. Keep sharing your heart. This community of fellow adoptive blogging parents is full of listening "ears" and we know where you're coming from...we're right there with you!
Thinking about you Dawn...The waiting just su---! We feel with you.
I hear you! I was there... My faith was tested tremendously during this process, and I'm still working through some things. My friend bought me a frme that reads, "Faith is having confidence in God when you do not understand." I placed a picture of our first two children we lost in the adoption process in it. That quote stays with me... Not long from now, much of this pain will be erased when you look into the eyes of your child.
Michelle
LOL Having had children both ways, you don't always get sympathy when you're pregnant! :) I lost my dad for a year (he decided to bow out of my life) and things with my grandma have never been the same since. They were awful to me and there was no sympathy what so ever for my condition. I'm so glad you have this blog to vent and glad for all the support you have here. I know it's so hard! Take care!
Sarah
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