I certainly haven't posted as often as I did over the summer. This is partially due to life being "back to normal" with me being at work...any teacher will tell you that the beginning of the school year is always a hectic time. But it is also due to the fact that I haven't had much to say. On Friday my husband spoke to the coordinator at our agency after we got an e-mail from him Thursday night that made my go absolutely biserk. The e-mail said that many of our documents did not have an apostille. I went wild beyond what you can imagine. You have to understand, which anyone who has ever had to prepare a dossier will, that I practically have the instructions memorized! I was certain there was nothing amiss when I sent that dossier out.
WRONG! First we received a call saying that the money order for the Consulate was not good because it had to be a postal money order! Well, why didn't you tell us that BEFORE??? I really wish someone could tell me what difference it makes anyway where the darn thing is from! Then the e-mail about the apostilles sent me over the edge and I had to depend on my dh to handle it because I was certainly not rationale.
Turns out that on page 3 of the dossier packet it states in bold italics that as of June 2005 all documents for Kaz have to be individually apostilled. Now, let me just add here that I am not the first and only client who failed to get this done since I was using the checklist provided by the agency in which each document is described and then it states what needs a notary or both a notary and an apostille. Apparently, these pages were never updated and this monumental peice of information was relegated to page 3 and never mentioned again in the 50+ pages of instructions.
So, depression has seriously come over my heart. I took off work on Friday and slept about 17 hours. DH keeps telling me everything will be fine and I just keep saying that it won't be fine because it is already not fine. I am not fine with the fact that our dossier sat at our agency for a week before they even looked through the papers and informed us that something needed to be done with those documents. I am not fine with the fact that it is October and our documents are still in the US! I am sooooooo not fine with our agency - and God forgive me I wish awful things on the director on a daily basis. I am not fine that our son is 17 months old and not home. I am not fine with the fact that every setback moves us further away from having him home by Christmas. I am not fine with the fact that this agency is making a fortune and doesn't seem to have a single competent person working there. I am not fine with everyone asking me "So, when are you going to get your baby?" even though I have told them what feels like 6 million times that I DON'T KNOW!
So, there you have the updated synopsis of my recent misery :-) Aren't you glad you stopped by? lol
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Bummed Out...
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24 comments:
Ohhh, I am soooo sorry! I truly hope things get better! FAST! I spend a lot of time in prayer around 0100 and 0500 every morning...I'll add you guys to my prayers!!!
Jackie.
That's inexcusable. Dossier instructions should be impeccable and easy to follow. With the 2 copies of this, 4 copies of that, different expiration dates, and so forth it's confusing enough. I'm so sorry.
a big hug and big tears from Lisa in Kaz
i know how it feels to think the dossier is finished that at least the one thing that is in your power to do is done...it is still with in your power...get up and finish it Dawn..this you can take control of and do... Lisa
Oh Dawn, I can feel your pain and anger. I do sympathise with you. But unfortunately whats done is done and you have to take a deep breath and fix whatever it is. Don't lose sight of the goal, to bring that precious one home. Don't let them (the agency) slow down your momentum anymore and make you feel depressed. I am here to support you. Get back on track girl so you can have him home asap.
Once he is home you can scream at your agency and make a voodoo doll of the director to make him/her pay. But for now, don't waste your time on them, they are not worth it. lol :)
Well that stinks. We have had so many problems with our agency, too - I can't believe that they seem to be so clueless as to how stressful and difficult this process is, even without their mistakes. Hang in there Dawn - what choice do we have?!
Ugh! A similar thing happened to us and TWO couples moved ahead of us in the waiting list! It is so frustrating when you get conflicting information (or none at all). I try to just tell myself that the timing of everything will lead us to the child we were meant to love. Hang in there!
Dawn, I am so sorry. International adoption is quite a journey, isn't it?! I'm so glad you were able to get some much needed sleep! Take it easy & take care of yourself! I didn't realize how physicially AND emotionally exhusting this whole process was until I was in the midst of it! You'll be in my prayers!!
Oh Dawn! Our Dossier was actually in Kaz, at the MOE for weeks when the new regs came out last year. We had to wait for our Dossier to be sent back from Kaz to get the rest of the documents Apostilled. I felt the same way, our son kept reaching new milestones, and we weren't with him to see it happen. But, I ran around like a chicken with her head cut off, put miles and miles on my car, and got everything I needed done complete in record time. You will get to your son!! And once you get home, none of this will matter any longer. Keep focused on your son, and don't let this nonsense get you down! I'll be thinking of you...Lisa
Hi, I happened to be reading through some comments to an old post, found the one you had left awhile back, and thought I'd stop by. I'm sorry to hear that things are moving so slowly, really hope your agency gets things straightened out quickly and that your little one is home very very soon.
Dawn,
You can't let this get you so down. I know everyone says that and it's tough to hear and tougher to do. I know just how you feel since we are in exactly the same place right now. It's not going to do you, your husband or that little boy any good to lock yourself away in your room. I started to do that myself Friday after we got that same call. Hang tough, be strong and do what needs to be done. We will both be bringing our son's home soon! Maybe not as soon as we would like... but soon. I worry now that even if everything goes smooth from here there is no we I could go until January even if we got our LOI to go before then. I have 2 kids here to think about and I couldn't leave them over the holidays. This is tough but we have to hang tough, get through and when our boys are home... we go to California and kick some butt at that stupid agency! ;)
Kim
I can't believe it! That is awful and grossly incompetency on the part of your agency.
You can do it Dawn! Don't let those crappy people at the agency win. Crank it out and bring that baby home!!!
I know what you are going through, we had similar issues last fall with our entire dossier getting staled the day we submitted it due to new regulations. It took a month to get everything re-done (a lot faster the 2nd time around) and then it was in translation for about 2 months I think.
But once you get home, that will all be a distant faint memory as you will have other priorities to concentrate on!
It's only a speed bump, but you are still moving in teh right direction.
Dawn,
I am truly sorry that you are working with such incompetent people in such a big adventure in your lives. I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are and prayed for you as I read this on your blog. You have every reason to be bummed out. I am bummed out for you.
Beckie
I'm so sorry to hear of your setback. And I completely understand how you are feeling, as most of us do in the adoption world. Each day passed is a day closer to bringing your boy home, delays and all. I won't tell you to feel better because sometimes you just have to grieve. I will tell you that I am here for you if you need to vent.
Wow. I would be furious with that agency, too. I am so sorry. I completely understand why you feel this way, how discouraging. UGH.
As if things aren't difficult enough. Yell, scream, vent and then keep on going. I know it's hard to imagine now but it's true what everyone says. This too will be a distant memory once you hold your child in your arms. Just remember, it WILL happen.
You can do it and you will. Sorry for the setback. You will getyour baby! Keep resting.
I am so very sorry for the setback. Believe me, I know how it feels to keep waiting. I have waited 5 long years for a baby. I am so so sorry Dawn. I wish I could do all the paperwork for you and just get it sent over there for you. Love, Tam
I totally understand Dawn. I just want to get to the part where I have done everything I can do and the rest is out of my hands. Don't let this get you down. We can both do this.
Things I've learned along the International Adoption Journey
1. Control: is in Gods hands embrace it
2.Patients: a virtue needing to be taught, experienced then learned, you will get all three on this journey. There is no choice.
3.Prayer: When everything feels as though it hurts, remember Jesus nailed to that cross and why he is there. His love is for all. The parent,child,agency director,facilatator, coordinator and all who choose to be used by God.
I found when I prayed for those whom I thought dropped the ball it made my day better and We got the results God planned for us in his time.
I hope this advise helps you while you wait with patients for Gods timing thru prayer.
All good things come to those who wait.
As far as the questions from the people who care about you, cherish them and use them as reminders to pray. They also are waiting with you, teach them patients.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this journey. God is in control and his timing is perfect.Believe!!!!!!
So funny, I tried to call you last night and some strange spanish speaking man answered...wrong number. Can you send me your number again.
Okay, just give me a call 847-542-5141. I would love to chat.
Hi Dawn!
Thanks so much for the sweet comment on my blog. I was SO sorry to read about your situation with the dossier and I really hope you are able to fix it up without any trouble and have it off again. I can't even beging to imagine how frusterating that must have been for you to get that news.
I can't wait till we have our children home and we can comment on each other's blog about how adorable they are instead of all this frusterating bunk!
Take care!
Sarah
j&j,
You visited my blog a while back and I've been lurking here for a while reading yours!
I am very sorry to hear that this has happened to you!
My husband and I are just about ready to start on our dossier, and just *looking* at the thing isn't fun!
Like your husband told you, everything will be fine. It stinks that this happened, but you didn't really have any control over it, looks like!
Good luck, hope very shortly in the future, that you are COMPLETE and sent to Kaz!
Shawna
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