Perspective

First, so I am not keeping anyone in suspense…we are going to stay the course and complete our adoption. Both my husband and my best friend said the same thing to me: “This will end this problem, but it will not solve the underlying problem – we want a baby.” The wait, as much as it is grueling, is not really the issue. What IS the issue and the cause for 99.9% of our distress and heartache is being told one thing and planning accordingly and then exactly when you are so close you can touch it your dreams are deferred again. In dealing with AIP the entire process has been that way. Orson does not get it and he never will. I continue to believe with all my heart and soul that he is an evil man. I do indeed believe he is the kind of man the Bible warns people about. So, whether people think I am crazy for thinking that, or think it is irrational for me to believe such things, I do. There is NO trust between us and Orson. NONE WHATSOEVER.

Obviously, I have made my blog “by invite only.” This is because three people had the audacity to come on my personal space and tell me I am a loser and not ready to be a mother because of what I am feeling. At first, it is hurtful when these idiots write such nonsense, but who they anyway? Mean-spirited people who have nothing better to do than hurt others from a safe distance where there are no repercussions. They are judging my ability to be a parent based on a post on a blog on the information superhighway. When I examine their comments in that light I feel sorry for them and their children…for I can only imagine the hurtful and judgmental statements they will subject their children to.

The last update we received from Orson was that our LOI would come the first week in February. We will see. As I said earlier – I don’t believe anything he says. Furthermore, the government of Kazakhstan must be one of the most poorly run bureaucracies I have ever seen. Corruption is the norm and not the exception. The children and adoptive parents pay an enormous price for the rampant corruption. It makes me wonder if such a pervasive infestation can ever be turned around. If it is ever faced head on it will certainly be a monumental task. If it is ignored…the country has no hopes of thriving as a capitalist society. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Thank you all for your supportive comments! The words of wisdom from those who have come through the other side of this journey help us a great deal! I ask that you keep us in your prayers. This continues to be a difficult wait for us.