What Will This Teacher Teach Her Son?

After reading the book The Mom I Want to Be I have asked myself what kind of legacy I hope to pass on to Stephen. This book sends a powerful message to those of us raised without the example of unconditional love and respect of our parents that we can move beyond or rather break the mold of destructive parenting patterns in our family history.

I teach children ~ that is my passion. I remember one of my professors (who has since passed away...may she rest in peace) making an analogy when I was confused about the grade level and specific children I wanted to teach. As a special education teacher I am certified to teach students from birth to 21 years of age and falling into a multitude of "categories" in education. She told me "Dawn, it is like falling in love. You will know when you have found it." She was right ~ I LOVE teaching students in middle school. I relate to them on a very deep level. For those who know me best they understand the magnitude of the struggle I had as a teenager and how it has affected me. It has served me well when I comfort a student and tell her "I have been there...I have been where you are and I understand." Now, as I am about to become a mommy I ask myself what it is that I have learned as a student of life that will serve me well as the mother of this precious boy? What does this teacher want to teach her son?

First, and foremost, I want to teach him that LOVE is truly unconditional. Some mistake unconditional love to mean that you just let your child do whatever he or she wants and makes him happy, but that could not be further from the truth. Loving my son unconditionally means caring enough to give him my time, support and respect. I will be the first to tell him when I see him choosing the wrong path, but the last to ever say "I told you so."

I will teach him to not be selfish by being a selfless mother and wife. One of the words heard most often in education is "modeling" and it truly is the key to success when you want children to learn a behavior. If you want your children to be loving and kind human beings..you must be loving and kind toward them and your spouse. My marriage will be the model for my son's future relationships and I intend on providing him with a nurturing and supportive example.

I will teach him to forgive. This will perhaps be my greatest challenge as someone who struggles with the true meaning of forgiveness herself. I am learning, however, that when I just don't know and don't have the answers (which is often!) to ask God. I will teach him to do the same. I will also teach him to say he is sorry when he is wrong and to confess his sins and leave them in the past.

I will teach him that there is no problem too great that we can't find a solution. I will help him see the choices he has, but always let the decision be his.

I will teach him that true love and companionship is not something you "fall into," but rather something you "build" together one step at a time with commitment to each step despite whether the step is steep or his footing is strong.

I will teach him these things and sooo much more. Just as it is in my classroom ~ I will have to teach and reteach, assess and review often. There will be times when my lesson doesn't go well or when I despair over teaching it yet another time. There will be times when I am not on top of my game and the lesson is not effective. But I am committed to being the mom I want to be and breaking a long family history of pain.