A crazy woman wrote to me the MORNING of court to tell us that our boy is her "referral" and asking why she should suffer because of our loss. Now, today I got this crap:
The adoption is not final yet, and we feel that he is and will always be the son we were supposed to have. We are shocked that you were not even decent enough to be a good Christian woman and think of our feelings. Especially after your Please Help! Emails about Kathleen in Germany, and others losing there referrals. Why should we suffer because you were given your referral of Stas. *********** was never meant for you he was meant for us. It was NOT Gods will just people playing God. How could you KNOWINGLY take another AIPS referral we should have been there with him now. I am now grieving for our stillborn daughter Shannon, numerous IVF attempts, our 1st referral, and now *********. Why didn't you get on the plane and go home as your husband wished so that you could have grieved for Stas, since you were not happy with the other 3 referrals. When you get home that baby room was Stas's as ours was meant for ******, you think the little yellow ball was hard, just wait till you walk in the nursery and see Stas's clothing, blankets, toys, etc. I have not slept in 4 days now, and am not feeling well at all. ANd you are worried about a friend not calling you in Kaz. You didn't think that it was a sign that you couldn't bond or even take photos of *****. And you keep mentioning that ****** was second best. We have to watch ******* grow up on the internet possibly, and you are neighbors of my family on Garden. ( Small world!) Do you really feel this was the right thing to do? This is a vicious cycle with AIP that will NEVER end now! We wish the best for you and we feel badly for you about Stas, but its not all about you!
God help us all!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
NOW I"M BEING STALKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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10 comments:
Dawn,
Immediately BLOCK her email address on your server. Do not accept another email from someone who is unfeeling enough to send you an email such as this. Since referrals are not a guarantee in Kazakhstan she should not feel as if you have ripped her child from her arms.
YOU did not do anything wrong in accepting your new child into your lives.
Ignore her emails, however keep them. Unfortunately you might need them in the US to place a restraining order against her if she does not stop. Especially if she thinks she can find you.
As far as your friend not calling you, don't be too hard on her. There is at least a 10 hour time difference which can make it difficult in the best of circumstances to call. I purchased a calling card in country and used that to call home to talk to family and friends. Perhaps you can make a call to her doing the same.
I pray that the rest of the time in country goes smoothly for you. It might only take 2 - 3 weeks there instead of the 6 - 7 weeks you are dreading. I know that from the date of our adoption to when I could travel back to pick up my daughter it was only 3 weeks.
Good luck, and God Speed!!
Connie
I am in total shock that someone would have the nerve to harrass you this way. You were presented this child because he is meant to be yours. If he wasn't meant to be yours your adoption would not have been granted. Referals are not commitments which is why I did not accept one and I am traveling blind.
I am so sorry you are being exposed to someone like this woman. Many of us have had traumatic situations trying to become parents, that does not give her the right to harass you this way. To use her own words, "It's not all about her", it's just the way things go sometimes. We all lose people that we love. It's not fair but as my mom said in her last days, "This is a part of life." She needs to move on.
Again, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. How did she get into your blog? It's protected, is it someone you know??
Lots of good thoughts and hugs for you.
Clearly a psycho who has crossed the line. This is what happens when you use AIP. This has happened to 2 other AIP clients that I knmow of. Not your fault at all honey...that is just how it is over there. This crzy woman needs to leave you the hell alone and get on with her life. Her-e-mails have been rude, thoughtless and psycho. Personally, if they continue I would get the police involved. Your baby is meant to be yours. I pray that this crazy woman does not get a child because clearly she is unstable and heartless.
I am so sorry. This is crazy. Can you complain to your agency and see if they can stop her? That is horrible. How did she even know it was the same child? You haven't posted pictures or names (by the way, I can't wait to see pictures!)???
I'm so sorry you have to go through this on top of everything else you've had to go through. I hope this woman will stop and leave you alone to bond with YOUR son who was meant for YOU.
That is totally inappropriate and out of line. I understand being upset, but referrals are not only not guaranteed, but illegal in the eye's of the Kaz government.
Don't let this ruin your moment!
Lisa
Oh my, she was way out of line, I'm sure she hurts if Stephen was their referral BUT that give her NO right to email you & say those hurtful things. Stephen was meant for you, I agree referrals are not guarantee, we all know the risk when we have one, we were meant to have Jabari & Gunnar just as Stephen was meant for you & Joe. Don't let her take the joy away from this time of being with YOUR son. Don't EVER doubt that he was meant to be your son & you & Joe his Mom & Dad.
Hugs-
Ann
Dawn, I agree with everything said here....this woman was totally out of line and showed NO respect to all you have been through on your journey to being a mother. She can feel all her loss, but to say the things she did were totally cruel. Your son is who God intended for you....and the loss of Stas and the things learned in this were for a reason probably never to be understood on this side of eternity.
Beckie
oh my goodness - what a wacko!
I'm so sorry you had to experience this. I am sorry for her too and I understand that she is in pain - but it is too bad she is taking it out on you. She clearly has a lot of other unresolved issues. Perhaps she should halt her process and resolve them before she goes over the edge.....
You are doing the right thing though - Just hang in there, ride out the rest of your journey, and then you will be home. You are in the home stretch. Hug your lovely son and focus on him instead!
Lots of us are out here thinking (and talking :)) about you! and wishing you all the best.
Lisa
OMG! I cannot believe that woman! and they are permitting her to adopt?!?!?! my heart is pounding right now...I can't even imagine how you felt!
Obviously this woman has no faith in God...or she would understand everything happens for a reason!
I am so glad to be able to follow your blog again! Stephen is adorable!
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU USE AIP, ORSON MOSES, etc.. when will people learn abot this junk ? Adoptive parents deserve BETTER.
Go on with your journey and try to foget this happened, it really Is unbelievable!!!!
GOD BLESS,
Paula
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