Addressing the SCAM Issue...

So many people have stated, suggested, insinuated or simply thought in their own minds that what happened to us is part of some kind of scam. I understand why people would think this considering that our first photo "referral" was not able to be adopted due to his mother's refusal to sign papers, our second baby's mother came back and then this third child's mother appealed it in court! I would think the same thing if someone told me these circumstances. In many ways we wish this was a scam..then we could address the issue and resolve it rather than remain in this seemingly interminable limbo.

Since I am tired of addressing the "scam" possibility over and over ... I figured I would outline the reasons why we believe strongly that this is not a scam on any level here on my blog once in detail. I actually copied this from an e-mail I sent to a follow AIP client who has yet to travel:

So many people have suggested to said "maybe this is a scam." While I understand the reason people would ask that under these circumstances I don't know how to get it through to people that it is not. I wish I could blame Orson, but I can't. I thought long and hard that maybe Orson is doing this to spite me for the months of fighting back and forth and outspoken comments on-line. But my husband and I know in our hearts that is not the case. Here are the reasons we believe strongly that it is not Orson making our life hell:

1. Orson/Nigmat has lost money on us. We paid to stay for 40 days and ended up being there 60 and he did not bug us for more money (at least not after Stephen's adoption was contested).

2. He has staff continuing to work on our case. They certainly don't want to have staff committing time and money longer than needed.

3. Orson reached a point in our journey when he realized that I was a force to be reckoned with due to my blog and Yahoo groups. He had soooo many people call him and challenge him when I spoke out and it drove him crazy. He would call my husband at work and complain that I wrote something on my blog or in the chat groups. When things were going well (we got our LOI, etc...) he asked constantly for us to post something "positive." He even told me that "many people are watching and waiting to see how your adoption turns out" and that every time something goes wrong the Yahoo groups go wild with posts (he reads ALL of those groups and blogs! Keep that in mind). He became resigned to the fact that our adoption needed to turn out well in order for him not to take another huge hit in his reputation. He made sure everyone in Kaz knew to treat us well and that he didn't want any problems with our case. Nigmat personally picked us up from the airport - which has never happened to my knowledge. Nigmat stayed in constant contact with us throughout the entire trip. When he left the country for other business he had his assistant give us a phone number to reach him every time. Nigmat has been a huge support for us.

4. Orson does NOT want this adoption to end with us not having a child. Orson can be a bit of a drama queen and likes to hype up how his agency does so much more than all the others. He also loves to pat himself on the back when a bad situation is remedied. Right now he is using our situation as the "you think you have problems...just be glad you are not going through what the De Lorenzo's are going through." If we end up winning this case Orson will use our adoption as an example of how his agency fights harder than any other. This will be his "legend" for years to come.

5. Orson also knows if we end up without Stephen - I am coming after him with everything I have. He knows we want every penny back. He also knows that I have the tenacity to fight him him court and destroy his reputation even further than it is already marred. He wants a happy ending to all of this just as much as we do.

Then there is the orphanage. I wish I could place blame there as well, but they did everything they were supposed to by law. I ripped this case apart up and down. I studied every part of the Kazakhstan Law on Family and Marriage - looking for a screw up along the way. The orphanage and the Ministry of Education followed all of the laws. If they didn't we would have lost this case already.

Here is the last scenario people suggest: Maybe Inna (birthmother) or her POA want money. Again, I wish this was the case, because then we could fork over more money and bring our son home. Inna and her POA have not asked for or suggested we pay up to anyone. The only thing the POA did suggest was that we adopt Inna and her unborn child as well as Stephen. We can't risk offering money since this is obviously against the law and would doom our chances of getting Stephen.

So, I hope that eases your mind about any screw ups on the part of AIP or the in-country staff. We are blessed to have the best people possible fighting for us in Ust.

My BIGGEST problem with AIP has and always will be photo referrals and referrals in general. There is NO SUCH THING. We know of NOT A SINGLE COUPLE who adopted their original referral. I feel Orson is inflicting pain knowingly on hundreds of families by allowing them to fall in love with a picture and the dream of THAT child being a part of their family. Until you are in that country and select a child in person and sign the papers...you do not know what child you will end up with. Even after you go to court and the judge grants the adoption...you need to remain cognizant of the fact that the child is not yours until you make it through the entire 15 day appeal period unscathed. It is a crappy way to approach your adoption, but it is a reality.