NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think I would be approaching this mother's day weekend in the same boat I was in last year! Actually, last year, on the day before Mother's Day Orson e-mailed us updated pictures of Alexander and we were sooooo happy. Little did I know that not only would we lose him, but yet another and be in this mess with Stephen's birthmother. It is all a little too overwhelming.
I AM ANGRY...I feel angry that something that comes so damn easy to a majority of the world ~ having a child ~ is a giant hurdle for us! Then, when we turn to adoption, we face brick wall after brick wall. Once again, we stand by and watch dozens of other adoptive parents reach the finish line with their dreams realized and here we are ~ another year ~ with nothing to show but a dozen more broken dreams. I feel defeated. I feel cursed. I am fighting bitterness, but it is knocking LOUDLY at my door.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Difficult Weekend...
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6 comments:
Dawn
I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better. I hate knowing that this has been so difficult for you. It's terrible to have to go through all this to be able to become a mom. I have also had a difficult time so far and I don't understand why it comes so easy to some, and some should not even be parents. I have no answer to that. I can just pray that this all works out for you and Joe in the end and one day this will all be a brief moment in your past. My thoughts are with you on this difficult weekend.
Meena
Dawn,
I am so sorry for how you are feeling and it is completely justified. Your road has sucked big donkey balls and I would do anything to take away your pain. I miss you. It has been hard knowing what exactly to say but I want you to know that I think of you EVERY day and I am hoping beyond hope that Monday brings good news. I want to go swing over there, pick him up and bring him home.
Dawn, I'm sure there's nothing any of us can say that will take away your pain, but I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking of you every day, but today especially. Debbie
A friend of mine and I joke that if we knew it was so hard to have children, we would have had more fun earlier in life. I pray tomorrow gives you great news.
I checked your site, because I knew that today would be difficult for you and Joe...and, I wish I could "fix" it, but, I cannot. Your emotions and anger and bitterness are understandable. As to the "why" of it...we just might never know. We do have to hang onto the fact that God is good, and loving and kind and does what He needs to do to conform us to Christ...that kind of faith is hard to muster, I know. Keeping you in my thots and prayers today...Karla
I am sorry that this has happened and that the resolution to all this still seems so far away, but I am praying that soon you will receive news that Stephen is yours forever.
Beckie
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