Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Off to Translation We Go...

Our dossier is off for translation after a two week period of stress induced by the incompetence of our agency. If lies and incompetency were a crime our agency would be serving a life sentence. So, now we wait. We were told the documents will take approximately a week to return from translation. Then it will be off again...it reminds me of that Stanley thing - does anyone know what I am talking about? Stanley is a paper doll sent off into the world much like you did when you were a kid and released balloons with your name and addres on an index card and wait for people to reply to tell you were your balloon ended up. Remember that? We did that in elementary school. Stanley is the newer version of that. Many elementary school teachers do that and track his journey. I wish I could track our dossier's journey :-)

I am glad we are moving forward again. Every accomplishment bring us at least one step forward toward our son. We know where he is not: Karaganda. We are playing the hot/cold game with our agency right now. Is he here? Your getting warmer. Is he here? Colder. At times we are sure he probably doesn't exist since that has happened to dozens of clients too. The last updated photo we received was in May. So, although the director of the agency says he is still there (altough ironically he claims he doesn't know where "there" is) I fear we may be one of the unfortunate families that gets there and finds out "No, that baby is not here. We have never seen that baby before."

Only those who are going through this will understand what the heck I am talking aboout, but you do feel very alone. The people you know and love couldn't possibly understand what you are going through and most of the time you don't have the energy to explain. My sweet, calm husband went off the deep end on his mom last night when she mentioned that Madonna has to go through the same red tape we do. He was yelling at her! That is not like him at all and I suddenly realized that this is getting to him just as much as it gets to me, but he has been hiding it better. We are glad we have each other. I have always been thankful for my wonderful hubby, but I am more grateful each day that we are in this together. I send thanks to the Lord every single night for my husband.

I am praying for all my virtual friends who are in Kaz right now or in between trips. I am praying for those traveling to Russian or Guatemala soon too! The many blogs of families whose dreams have come true keep me going...thank you for sharing your journey with all of us.