I never imagined I would be writing this, but our adoption journey is over. Last night we were told by Orson that there is a two week delay on the issuance of LOI's. Today, Orson called to inform us that "they" told him it would be two to THREE weeks from NEXT SATURDAY.
My husband and I have decided that the journey ends here. We are ending our pursuit to adopt a child and I can't say what the future holds for us at this point. For a very long time my husband was the one who said "let's hang in there...we're almost there" but even he agreed that this news brings us to a fork in the road. My health and emotional well-being is greatly compromised at this point.
My dh is going to attempt to get our dossier back from AIP. It is unlikely we will get it, but it is worth a try. The thousands of dollars we have spent are gone. We will take them to court, but I have little hope of ever seeing that money again.
So, take care everyone! I wish you all the best.
29 comments:
OMG! I am trying to call you. Are you okay? I can't believe this. I am SOOOOOOO sorry.
Dawn- I wish I had the words to comfort you. I'm sure you're not ready to here this, but you just have to keep the faith that the problems you're experiencing ARE the path you need to be on. It's hard, and it sucks, but it's a possibility. God is BIGGER than Orson.
I hope that you reconsider and make a change to a new agency to find your son. I wish you and your husband peace in your decision- whatever that might be.
Dawn~ I am so very sorry. I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through right now. I don't understand how adoptions work from Kaz...could you sign up with another agency and they issue your LOI, or do you have to start all over again? I would hate to see one horrible agency ruin your chance with your forever son. I'll be praying for you and your decision.
Dawn,
I'm so sorry that you've reached this point. I've followed your journey for a long time and kept hoping that things woud turn around for you with AIP. Hopefully in time you'll find that right path to the child that was meant to be yours.
I don't have words. I really don't. Only you know what's right for you. I'm praying and thinking of you guys.
Dawn, Don't give up. You are so close. I know it is a very tough process with the hurry up and waiting. It is emotionally and financially draining but you are so close. I will pray for you. Keep your chin up. I'm so sorry to hear this but can understand also because we have been through it too. -Dotty Zalomski
Hang in there Dawn! The longest part of the wait is over...the month is going to be here, whether you push forward on your adoption journey or decide not to. We waited 16 months, and it was soooo hard, but the wait seems like nothing now. Don't give up your dream...
Dont give up.......that happens a lot with the LOI's. It happened to us to. The government over there runs so different than it does here. Sometimes there is only one person who issues the LOI's and that is not fair to them; or us here waiting. You are so close to get your little boy....don't give him up Dawn. I will pray for you both. Tam
Dawn, thats from Brian, Tamara and Grace. I changed our webpage to be just HERS, and I am putting a new pic on there.....so in case you didnt recognize who Grace was...its me! Tam
You have to do what you are comfortable with, but I hope you will sleep on it and take a look at your position in a few days. You have waited this long. In the end, you will have your beautiful baby.
Good luck with whatever path you ultimately choose.
Adoption is so unique for each of us and although we all share common emotions and trials, it is your story so I cannot pretend to know your pain. I can only say that you are almost there! Yes, the setbacks have to be emotionally draining - believe me, I know. I was in the hospital the night before we left and passed out in front of the door on our way out in a seizure - I know. I literally thought I'd DIE of a broken heart. I don't know how I went on... I guess the days I couldn't do it, I leaned on those who could do it for me. YOU DESERVE TO BE A MOM! Lean on us! I know you have been failed over and over, but God will come through for you.
Dawn, you are sooooo close, please try and hang in there. This will seem like a little bump in the road by this time next year. Please don't give up. God has a plan and just believe in Him. You, Joe, and Stephen are in my thoughts and prayers.
I came very, very close to quitting last December. There's something freeing about saying "I give up." The thought of not adopting is depressing, but the thought of just dropping all the bullshit of the process and walking away feels good.
But in the end, I didn't give up and I'm glad that I didn't.
You're working with a corrupt agency. You've gone through more crap than you ever should have. Your heart is broken. I understand how you feel and if you stick to giving up then I'll stand behind you on that. But I would really, really, like to see you finish this. I want you to be a mother.
Adoption is a mind blowing sometime discouraging journery...there are so many emotions involved and the adoption agency has you by the balls. Last year we were scammed by a birth mother and it felt like our heart was ripped out. It wasn't easy, but we did recover and are out there again.
Maybe take some time and think about everything before calling it quits?
Dawn, I am a friend of Muriels and have followed your journey through her... I can't even begin to imagine the pain and hurt you must be going through. I truly hope you change your mind... You are such a wonderful, strong woman. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you find the strength you need to get through this.
Oh Dawn....my heart is so broken for you....how absolutely awful. There is no reason you should have been treated like this. It is uncalled for....and I pray you both will find peace and joy again.
I don't understand at all, but I hurt so much for you.
I know you must be experiencing excruciating pain. Adoption is such a difficult and painful road, much worse than childbirth. I have to agree with everyone that I hope you take a breather and decide to trudge forward. Maybe an agency change. Please don't give up though. There's a child out there that needs a mommy and daddy and you are perfect for them. Everything will be worth it when you see their shining face.
You do have to do what you need to do though. Prayers are with you.
We were with an agency that kept saying we would be traveling "soon" after SEVERAL months of this we decided to change agencies. We DID get our dossier back, because we were very insistent. About a month after switching agencies we were in Kazakhstan meeting our seven month old son. Not every agency is willing to pick up where another agency left off (a few we called wanted us to submit a new dossier and start all over.) However our new agency did accept us and was really wonderful. I read once that everyone who wants to adopt eventually does, if they don't give up. I know that is a simple statement, but it helped me a lot! After we met our son all the delays and heartache made sense. He wasn't even eligible for adoption when we wanted to travel. I know this is a horrible time for you, but please have faith...our prayers are with you.
I am so sad for you. I will be praying that you will find your child somewhere. I wish things didn't have to be like this. There are so many kids needing homes like yours and only bureaucrats standing in the way.
Tracey
I am so sorry, I know you are frustrated. A someone who has been there before with AIP, I have to echo what Dotty and Michelle say by encouraging you to continue on. It IS hard but you are SO close. You CAN do this! I will pray that God will give you the answer.
You are SO close! If you can get your dossier back please consider going with one of the reputable agencie--Little Miracles, WPA, Adoption Ark. There are SO many out there that can make your dreams of motherhood come true. I know it seem as if this is the final straw but I would encourage you to rest on your decision and turn to God. There is a child out there who needs a home with you. The journey can be an uphill battle, and unfortunately certain agencies make it seem like you are climbing up a sheer cliff. But the final result will be worth all the tears, emotional pain and anguish.
I can't help but notice what today's verse is on your blog:
"We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
Hebrews 10:39"
Don't give up Dawn, you are so close. I know if you stick with it you will soon be glad you did because you will have your son in your arms and what is better than that? You won't be sorry. Have a little more patience, it WILL happen.
"We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed but of those who believe and are saved. Hebrews 10:39" Remember?
Meena
OMG Dawn! Please don't let this corrupt organization take away all your dreams of adopting a sweet child. Sue, scream, yell, but keep on fighting! If you give up, then they have taken more from you than anyone has the right to.
Either way, I wish you the best. You deserve peace, however you need to find it.
I'm sorry you're in such pain. Please don't let this utterly frustating process and a dishonest agency take away your dream of becoming parents. I pray that you will hang in there and draw on other's experiences for hope. Despite disappointment after disappoitment so many have happy endings. It will happen for you too.
Dawn~ My hearts goes out to you right now. I wanted to let you know that I am dedicating the first song on my blog to you...it is "You are Loved (Don't Give Up)" by Josh Groban. I love this song, it always inspires me. Hopefully it will bring you some comfort.
Dear Dawn I am so sorry to read this post and I am so sad for you. I sat staring in disbelief at the words in the post.
I have followed your blog and been a part of your NJ group and cannot believe this.
I hope you can find some comfort in all the posts people have left for you and make the decision that is the right one for you and your husband.
Kathy Cronauer
Dawn, I am so sorry to hear this but am keeping in mind that you did not make this decision lightly. I'll be praying for you.
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