I am beginning to unravel at the seams. My second wind has come and gone and I am running on empty at this point. The thought of not coming home with Stephen is unbearable. I found out that if the urban court bounces this case back to the rural court and if they approve the adoption in spite of Inna’s objection…I would have to go through ANOTHER 15 day waiting period! His first birthday is just around the corner on April 25th. I want to be with him. I haven’t seen him in fifteen days and it is killing me.
I pray that the urban court makes a decision…black and white ~ yes or no. I can’t go on like this anymore. I never intended to take up residence in Kazakhstan to fight an interminable court battle. I ask myself every day how this can be happening and why us. Right now I need a tremendous amount of healing. I do not want to see anyone except my husband and, God willing, our son. I simply want to go home. If that means I return home being defeated to an empty nursery and no hope of being a mother then so be it, but I need to go home very, very soon. God have mercy on me.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
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18 comments:
"Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts." That is the verse on your blog today. I am praying for you. I'm also praying for Inna, that she will also find peace in this, and have the strength to do what is best for Stephen.
So many of us are praying for you, Dawn. I know you must be so weary, worn out. What you have been will take so much time to recover from even with Stephen in your arms. We are praying for the Lord's grace and mercy....and that the judges will rule in your favor....no more 15 days to wait....in your favor and your son. Think of you all the time and praying tomorrow will be news in your favor in every sense of the word.
Beckie
I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. Please know we are all praying for strength for you.
Dawn, lots of us are praying for you. It's not much in the absence of your husband and son, but try to take strength from that. With any luck a third wind is right around the corner with some good news from the urban court. I'll keep praying for a positive outcome tomorrow and for God's grace and mercy to sustain you.
I know you are weary but I am truly amazed at your strength. You are a very strong woman Dawn to be handling this the way you are, staying to fight for your son. Feel good about your ability to do this. You are a very strong woman, be proud of yourself. I am sure it will pay off in the end. Anxiously awaiting a positive decision for you and sending lots of good thoughts your way.....hugs too.
My heart breaks for you and Joe. I am praying for you daily. The only advice I can give you is probably the hardest to do. Lay it all down.
"Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt11:28
"...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Is40:31
Praying for miracles,
Penny
Dawn, today's verse is so appropriate, Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts. Perhaps the LORD God Almighty will have mercy on the remnant of Joseph." I pray for mercy for you. You started out on a sprint, and it's become a marathon. I am so sorry. Just keep the finish line in mind. I'll be at Women's Bible Study this morning--just know that the women at my table, strangers somewhere in the midwest, but sisters in Christ, will be praying for you! Stephanie
You are in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Jeremiah 29:11
-Esther
Hey. I think of you every single day. We are praying for you all the time. I have faith that the court will make a ruling and not bounce it. Dawn, what you told me last night about your promise to the big guy makes me cry. You are an amazing human being and I am blessed to know you.
"Vision gives pain a purpose"
Bill Johnson
Read that on a friend's blog today and thought of you.
Sarah
Dear Dawn: we are praying that you will receive the strength and courage you need to continue this battle: of course, you are weary, it is a BATTLE!!! Of the most significant sort: the battel for Life and Grace and Redemption. Satan does not want this to be successful...so, we beseech GOD to give you the fortitude that you need. Is there any way Joe can come to KZ and join you for awhile? Praying, Love, Karla
Praying for you to find strength. Remember how amazing you are.
Kathy
you are doing better than expected. hold on sweetie. Sending you virtual hugs from NJ.
Dawn, Please know that I am praying with my entire heart, soul and being for you. I pray that you will find the strenght you need and feel the love of those who are with you. I pray that Stephen will be given the chance to be loved as he deserves. I am praying that you will know great joy soon. God Bless and keep you.
Biggest hugs Dawn!
Laura
Dawn,
I keep inspirational quotes from friends for moments when I need a boost. The one below came from a friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 30s as she set off on her journey of surgery, radiation and chemotherapy.
“A handful of pine seed will cover mountains with the green majesty of forests.
I too will set my face to the wind and throw my handful of seed on high.”
-Fiona Macleod
Love,
genevieve
Dawn,
You are that woman in the Bible who would not let her son be split in half. You are fighting for Stephen's body, mind, and spirit! God is going to bless you for this!Brenda
Dawn,
My heart breaks for the journey that you are having to take, but I know that God will see you through whatever comes your way. Please know that you, Joe, and Stephen are in our thoughts and prayers right now.
Regina
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