Kitty May Only Have Eight Lives Left ;-)

Let me start out by saying I am sorry for this boring post, but this is actually becoming a kitty crises at my house. First, let me say that our cat, Shadow, is a true diva! This sweet kitty came into my hubby's life nine years ago when she was about a year old - long before I hit the scene. With that being said, this cat truly believes my dh is her man. She has graciously shared him with me and has even taken a liking to me. I adore her too!

She happens to be the best cat on earth. She is shy, but soooo sweet. She follows my hubby everywhere he goes and no matter how much room she has on the coach - she leaves no space between them! She is a very clean cat. Basically, she has never had a single problem or caused us any stress. Until now! She has suddenly decided she wants to defecate in places other than her liter box! She still urinates in the box and she still defecates in her box most of the time...but now it is becoming a persistent pattern of at least once a week! We are careful not to leave any clothes laying around on the floor since this was where she took a liking to pooping. Yesterday, she just went on our bedroom floor (carpet). It has really, really been pissing me off because I have NO idea why she started this!

We took her to the vet. She goes to the vet every year on schedule and has always been healthy. We feed her organic cat food for crying out loud :-) The vet said this is a common problem and once all the obvious health related causes were ruled out...she told us it was psychological. What? Our cat has a psychological problem?

Apparently, much to my dismay, this is the most common gripe of cat owners. I had no idea that trained cats could one day suddenly decide to abandon their routine and defecate outside their liter box with no apparent cause. I researched every article I could get my hands on and the sad part is that it could be one of twenty different things and it is simply process of elimination (no pun intended-lol).

So, here we are...only a week and a half before traveling and we have a kitty crisis. I really hope we figure out what her problem is before we leave. I have read that she may just not like her liter anymore, she may want two boxes - one for urinating and one for defecating, she may not like where her box is anymore, the sides of the box may be too high, and a million other possibilities. I sure hope baby behavior is easier to figure out - ha!

Twelve Days to Go & Other Stuff

The countdown continues! It can't be soon enough for me. I am sick of being a substitute teacher. I am also on many committees at work and they have all but written me off due to the "uncertainty" of my travel dates. I am probably being too sensitive, but I feel that if I were pregnant they would not disregard me as much as they are now. I really just want to get out of here asap.

I haven't heard anything - which I am hoping is a good sign that there will not be any further delays or unexpected twists. I am a little worried about our kitty cat being lonely when we go. HOPEFULLY, my sister-in-law will be watching the cat, but I have given up pestering my husband to confirm with her. This is his ONE job in the preparation for travel and he is procrastinating and it is driving me crazy! Of course, I am sure I will do what all women do and just do it myself in a few days. MEN! :-)

So, that is all - nothing new or exciting here.

16 Days Left, but Who's Counting?!?

Ha! I am practically counting the minutes!!! I am stuck in between the feelings of total euphoria and skepticism. On the one hand I am ready to jump out of my skin with anticipation. On the other hand I feel like I am holding back out of fear that there will be another setback.

We will be in Kaz with our son when he turns one, so we bought the adorable hat in the picture above! Isn't it just too cute!!! I pray that all goes well. I am really hoping that things go as smooth as can be. I know for sure there will be bumps in the road...but we just want to avoid a ditch! It seems from all the blogs that I have read that the experience people have in country depends a great deal on the region, their coordinator, their driver and their translator. I have hear very positive things about Ust-Kamengrosk...so I am hopeful. When you are in the U.S. waiting to be untied with your child all you want in the whole world is to be on a plane heading for Kazakhstan. Once you have your baby...all you want is to be on a plane heading home to the U.S.A. I pray that the country will eventually change their process so the majority of parents can come and complete their adoption in one trip at a maximum of two weeks.

I keep imagining how it will feel when I see our son in my hubby's arms for the first time. I also picture how awesome it will be when I first gaze at him safe and sound asleep in the crib that has been empty for far too long.

My husband is going to be a great daddy! He is so loving, fun, perceptive and selfless. Oh - I am sure that daddy will be the fun one and mommy will be the strict one who nags about homework! There are things that daddy will be unyeilding in though. He will not tolerate disrespect toward me or himself. Best of all though - he really wants our children to find joy in the little things in life. My hubby rocks! :-) Sure, it takes an awful lot of nagging to get him to make a dcotor's appointment. Yeah, he is a big baby when he is sick. And sure he can't even boil water - but if those are the worst things I can say about him I consider myself blessed!

Did I mention that there are only 16 days left until we leave? :-)

Could It Be???

Orson contacted us today and said "it's time to prepare for travel." That is funny because I have been ready for a month now :-) Of course I will probably recheck our luggage 100 times more before we leave. Sooooo...we booked our flights for Feb. 12th! My last day at work is the 9th.

We used Eldo at Golden Rule and the prices were great. Having flights surely makes it feel real...of course we are still nervous about the 10% chance that Orson told us as a possibilty something could cause a delay. His statistics never have seemed to add up in the past (ie-80% of families get their "referral" - ha!).

Please keep us in your prayers. Also, a colleague at work who is 36 years old, four months pregnant and has a two year old daughter just lost her hubby after gastric bypass surgery; He was only 38 years old...could you all say a prayer for her and her family. I attended the wake tonight and it was just so hard to fathom what I would do if I lost Joe. Not only did she lose her life partner and best friend...she now has to raise their daughter and unborn child alone. Pray, pray, pray. Thanks!

Perspective

First, so I am not keeping anyone in suspense…we are going to stay the course and complete our adoption. Both my husband and my best friend said the same thing to me: “This will end this problem, but it will not solve the underlying problem – we want a baby.” The wait, as much as it is grueling, is not really the issue. What IS the issue and the cause for 99.9% of our distress and heartache is being told one thing and planning accordingly and then exactly when you are so close you can touch it your dreams are deferred again. In dealing with AIP the entire process has been that way. Orson does not get it and he never will. I continue to believe with all my heart and soul that he is an evil man. I do indeed believe he is the kind of man the Bible warns people about. So, whether people think I am crazy for thinking that, or think it is irrational for me to believe such things, I do. There is NO trust between us and Orson. NONE WHATSOEVER.

Obviously, I have made my blog “by invite only.” This is because three people had the audacity to come on my personal space and tell me I am a loser and not ready to be a mother because of what I am feeling. At first, it is hurtful when these idiots write such nonsense, but who they anyway? Mean-spirited people who have nothing better to do than hurt others from a safe distance where there are no repercussions. They are judging my ability to be a parent based on a post on a blog on the information superhighway. When I examine their comments in that light I feel sorry for them and their children…for I can only imagine the hurtful and judgmental statements they will subject their children to.

The last update we received from Orson was that our LOI would come the first week in February. We will see. As I said earlier – I don’t believe anything he says. Furthermore, the government of Kazakhstan must be one of the most poorly run bureaucracies I have ever seen. Corruption is the norm and not the exception. The children and adoptive parents pay an enormous price for the rampant corruption. It makes me wonder if such a pervasive infestation can ever be turned around. If it is ever faced head on it will certainly be a monumental task. If it is ignored…the country has no hopes of thriving as a capitalist society. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Thank you all for your supportive comments! The words of wisdom from those who have come through the other side of this journey help us a great deal! I ask that you keep us in your prayers. This continues to be a difficult wait for us.

Waving the White Flag

I never imagined I would be writing this, but our adoption journey is over. Last night we were told by Orson that there is a two week delay on the issuance of LOI's. Today, Orson called to inform us that "they" told him it would be two to THREE weeks from NEXT SATURDAY.

My husband and I have decided that the journey ends here. We are ending our pursuit to adopt a child and I can't say what the future holds for us at this point. For a very long time my husband was the one who said "let's hang in there...we're almost there" but even he agreed that this news brings us to a fork in the road. My health and emotional well-being is greatly compromised at this point.

My dh is going to attempt to get our dossier back from AIP. It is unlikely we will get it, but it is worth a try. The thousands of dollars we have spent are gone. We will take them to court, but I have little hope of ever seeing that money again.

So, take care everyone! I wish you all the best.

Shame on American Idol!

I give this season of American Idol a BIG thumbs down! I decided quickly that I would not tune in this year after Simon humliated a young man by comparing him to a "creature" in the jungle because of his "massive eyes." What the heck were you thinking Simon? There are young people everywhere who are bullied and abused for the way they look in school to the point that they commit suicide they are in so much pain! If Simon wants to rip into contestants for their singing abilty (or lack of) that is understandable and expected. However, making callous remarks about their appearance is uncalled for. I will not support the show. What do you think? Weigh in on the poll I created at the top of my blog.

Airline Rules on Liquids

Carry-on items banned and permitted in U.S. airliners under security rules effective 11/14/06:

Liquid and gel toiletries in 3-ounce containers or smaller are allowed if they are in a clear plastic, quart-size or smaller ziplock bag.

Larger containers that are half-full or rolled-up toothpaste tubes are not allowed.

One ziplock bag per passenger.

Any amount of eye drops, saline solution, prescription and nonprescription medicine and personal lubricants are allowed.

Larger bottles of liquids and gels from outside -- including shampoo, suntan lotion, creams and toothpaste -- are allowed only in checked baggage.

Drinks, liquids and gels purchased in airport stores inside the security checkpoints can be carried into passenger cabins.

Baby formula is allowed if a child is traveling.

Lighters are banned in carry-on bags and in checked luggage, unless they don't have fuel or are in a case approved by the Transportation Department.

Laptops, cell phones, pagers and personal data assistants are allowed.

Jams and jellies should be packed in checked luggage; pies should be carried on.

Delays, Defeat and Lies

First we were told that our paperwork would be through the ministries by the end of December and we would likely travel around January 10th. Then we were told our LOI was coming somewhere between January 14th and January 21st. NOW, we were just told that there is a two week delay and we shouldn't expect to travel until FEBRUARY. I cannot even begin to explain to anyone how angry and how much pain I feel. I want this misery to end. I feel nothing but despair. I am very sadly angry at God for not hearing my prayers and allowing this journey to continue to be the most horrendous experience in my life only second to the death of my brother.

TAGGED!

Muriel tagged me again ;-) This was the hardest one yet because I had to come up with something to correspond with each number from 1 to 20. So, here is what I came up with:

1 – number of pets we have (our cat Shadow)
2 – number of times I have been a maid/matron of honor
3 – number of “serious” relationships I have had in my life (including hubby)
4 - number of attendants in our bridal party
5- number of years we will be married in August
6 – the day I was born
7 – number of years I have been a teacher
8 – number of years I was a Dental Assistant
9 - my favorite number
10 – number of four-legged pets I have had in my lifetime
11 – number of children my paternal great-grandparents had
12 – number of weeks I get Family Leave
13 – number of books currently in my bedroom
14 – number of Swarovski crystal pieces my hubby has given me as gifts for my collection
15 – number of years left until I am eligible to retire with my pension
16 – number of times I have packed an re-packed - lol
17 – Age when I graduated high school
18 – day this month that I hope we get our LOI by
19 – number of times each minute that I wonder when we will be in Kaz!
20 – My mother’s age when she gave birth to me

Thank you Oprah!

My hubby and I both LOVE music...although we have pretty different taste. Our music collection consists of "his," "hers," and "ours." Oprah had on two of my FAVORITE female artists ...Corinne Bailey Rae and Mary J. Blige. These women are phenomenal!!!!!!!!!! If you do not have their albums in your collections or at least a few of their songs downloaded on your i-pod you must get them right away!

And....even though I am only 32 ;-) ... Oprah also had on another favorite of mine - Carly Simon. I grew up listening to her because my parents loved music as well. We always had music on in our house.

So, thanks Oprah or the great show today (yeah...like she's reading my blog!) - lol!!!

As Good as it Gets

Well, I have packed and repacked and thought about this for weeks now...this is as good as it is going to get. I have come to terms with the fact that we are surely going to have to pay a fee for overweight luggage. We have two large duffel bags and we each have a carry-on. We are bringing a lot of clothing to donate to the orphanage - so the trip back won't be as much luggage. Everyone says pack light, but this is the best I could do. There is hardly anything in these suitcases for us! Most is for the orphanage and baby. We also brought 2 pillows, 2 towels and a set of sheets with a blanket. Out of all the things would could live without...we decided clean sheets/towels were not one of them. I even used the spacebags to save space. I am not too thrilled with the spacebags because it seems that they are not airtight after a few days.

We are bringing about five toys for the baby. I wanted things that light up or play music, but were small enough for packing. We picked some really nice ones! I have a stacking toy with stars that lights up and plays music whenever you put a star on the ring, a cute turtle with baby that play music and walk, stacking and nesting cups, a set of toy keys that plays music and has a lot of little activities, a teeting toy and a few books.

My patience is really running out at this point. Our dossier has been in Kaz since November 16th and we expected to travel by now. We were told we would definitely travel in January...and that our LOI is coming this week. but I am really geting antsy. I can't help but feel that everyone else's journey was faster. It feels like the whole world is home with their baby and we are just left waiting. Logically, I know this isn't true...just how it feels.

I also love how people who haven't got a clue what it is like to go through the adoption experience or to walk in my shoes say "What is the big deal about being a sub? You should just enjoy it." Hmmm, well, let's see...how about you live through nearly three years of uncertainty between trying to get pregnant and going through the adoption process, try not knowing ANYTHING about your own life...basic planning is out the window...and then imagine how important and dear the stability of your job is to you. Now imagine that in the midst of complete chaos in your life the ONLY thing that offered any routine in your life is taken away. The students you planned for each day are no longer yours. The curriculum you meticulously mapped out no longer matters. All of the "things to do" exist no longer because you have no class roster - no students - no responsibility. Experience it for yourself someday and then talk to me about it.

My poor hubby is feeling anxious because his boss asks him every other day "Do you know when you are leaving yet?" Uummm...no. I suppose people just don't get it since it seems so strange to be adopting a baby but not know when you are leaving. It really is a ridiculous process. He gets the feeling that people look at him like some uninvolved husband/father since he doesn't have the information. That couldn't be further than the truth. I get asked the same questions at work, but from colleagues. It can be pretty annoying...especially right now when we are soooooo tired of waiting.

A Schedule for Baby & Naps

Okay mommies...I need some information. Our son will be just over a year by the time we are home and settled in. I have researched some of this already, but want advice from "real people" instead of experts :-) How many hours does the average one yer old sleep during the night? How many naps do you let them have in the day and for how long? Are you feeding three meals a day with two "snacks" in between at this point?

I am also curious if you developed a schedule rather quickly when home? Did this schedule help your baby adjust? How long did it take to get into a routine? At one year old did you continue the "potty time" that they had at the orphanage or did you just stick with diapers? One year old seems a bit young to me for potty training, but there are "old school moms" who have told me that all their children were potty trained early. Thanks gals!

Need Input About Medical Info.

Hi everyone! We recently got some medical information on the baby we will be adopting. I am concerned because his Apgar is recorded as 5/6 and his birthweight was 5 pounds. This concerns us because the two factors combined point to either a premature birth or complications during labor and delivery. Any insight? I doubt we will be able to get much more information until we are at the babyhouse...and you know how hard that will be. Thanks!!!

It's a Boy...again!

We heard from our agency today about the baby boy they found for us. He is ten months old and is Russian. Based on his birthname (which is unusual for American standards) we are going to name him Stephen Joseph De Lorenzo. Unfortunately, we do not have any pics yet :-( Our agency is working on that part. However, they are well aware of what we are looking for and the children presented to us to date have all looked exactly like we wanted. I am sure he is adorable. Kazakhstan has such beautfiful children don't they?

We are happy he is so young...although it will be a real adjustment since we first anticpated adopting a toddler. I am soooooo happy that his first birthday will be with us!!! Our LOI is coming some time the week of January 14th. I pray that the Visa goes quickly and smoothly and we can book our flights asap. I just want to be there already!!!

I am officially working as a permanent substitute starting Monday...that will be strange. Nothing changes as far as my salary and I will return to work in September in the same position. It just worked out better this way - my principal has me covered no matter when we get the call and I have my job to keep my sanity up until the last moment. I will work between the first and second trip too.

So, now we just wait! Hmmm...does everyone see this pattern. One step forward...wait...another step forward...wait, wait, wait :-) VERY hard for someone like me who has NO patience!

The Interminable Wait

Another blogger, Tricia, recently posted that she is glad the holidays are over...well, me too! Holidays in the adoption world = more waiting. I am frustrated because all we know is that we are supposed to travel in January. Unfortunately, we will not really have a clue exactly when in January until it happens I guess...uuugggghhh!

The woman who is taking over my classes started today and she will shadow me this week. I was a little surprised when my principal told me that I would become a permanant sub starting on Monday! I thought I was going to continue in my position until we got "the call" - but I guess it makes sense for her to step into her position and get aquainted with the students as soon as possible. She will be fine...she is very nice and some of the students know her from the elementary school. I am sad...I love my students and I hate leaving them.

This is just soooo hard. I want to be on the plane tomorrow. Anyone want to share how they stayed sane leading up to the finish line ? :-)